petitio principii

Nails

2011-01-04T00:59:00.001-08:00

I have not updated in god knows how long.. Wait I can prob check this from the date of my last post.. But lazy.

Christmas and new year is over and its 2011 already. To sum up 2010, it was crazy fun and amazing, after taking a step into all the postings.. I feel like I'm a step closer to becoming a competent doctor. Playhouse was a blast as well.. Acting as a side character was fun despite all the negativities I had against that role.. At least we won lots of prizes! My life hasn't advanced much in other aspects though.. I've caught up with old friends and seen their lives progress so much further compared to mine, and sometimes I wonder if that has anything to do with my career choice.

There was happiness and heartbreak, anxiety and relief, hugs and fights.. The year 2010, I would say has been a fruitful one.

I hope 2011 will be better than the last.

Oh yes, 2010 was the year my stressed-out-paint-nails habit started.. Following are some nail art that I took photos of. Most of the time I forget. Meh.

My O&G posting nails..

I like this one a lot.. These were my ENT posting nails lol.

Christmas tree?

Another Xmas design.. Frosty?

Okay back to mugging.

-Cheryl~*

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Japanese Film Festival

2010-08-29T07:53:00.000-07:00

Never would I imagine that I would be a film fest attender.

Well, I watched three movies during the japanese film fest over the week, and the movies were strangely endearing, and very real. I'm a strong believer that japanese society actually represents what Singapore society will be in the future, and the little societal inadequacies and undertones mentioned in the movies will eventually appear in our society, and in our lives, and that, honestly scares me.

The three movies I watched were, "bare essentials of life", "air doll" and "sweet little lies". I have to say my favourite would be the closing movie of the fest, "sweet little lies". It's about a couple who, after being married for 3 years have little to no passion left in the marriage, and they start to lie to each other and getting involved in EMAs (extra-marital affair). Perhaps, a harsh reality to all lovebirds is that, no love is eternal? and eventually, will love run out? I know I feel so happy and grin to myself when I see an elderly couple walking together holding hands when they come to the hospital for their appointments. But in this day and age, how often do such relationships occur? How many couples make it from their marriage day to the day they depart from this world? Food for thought i guess.

Despite all the hype that "air doll" received. It was not, as I had hoped, as great as the reviews made it out to be. Rather whimsical and shallow overall. Catch it online! at stagevu.com. search "air doll".

-------------

on a side note, today, i parked at the old school cos it's really cheap and its like $2/entry after 5 pm, then i walked down the super long flight of stairs down to cathay level 1. then after the film fest, i walked into cathay and took the fire lift up to level 8, and to my horror, i was stuck in the "mount sophia carpark" which is definitely misleading, cos i thought i would be able to walk out onto mount sophia and back to the old school carpark. the guard kept challenging my common sense and i kept trying to ask him for a way out of the carpark but, there was none - NO STAIRCASE can you believe it? and he was super against me walking down the carpark ramp. i was so going to make a run for it, when he flagged down a car which was exiting and asked for a lift down the ramp for me.

the car was white and zzznged. if you get what i mean, dark windows blue lights, spoiler. ah beng max. and i was so convinced that he wouldnt give me a lift cos his gf was inside as well, but they were amazingly nice and they agreed. they were quite surprised and chatty, and were rather amused at my plight. they even gave me a lift to old school.

i now have a changed view of ah bengs in general. i guess there are some nice and non-scary ones. oh and i wrote a complaint letter to the cathay, stating that their website and counter staff were both misleading, and thats why i got into this plight in the first place. pppppppft.

yup.

O&G is also over, and onto paeds.
sigh.
not. enjoying. paeds.

-cheryl~*

if only life went the way you wanted it to.

2010-08-11T01:59:00.000-07:00

yup.
sometimes i wish i knew more stuff, i studied harder, i had more resources shared with me and do better for exams, but ah wells. sometimes theres just that much you can do.
i guess i'll have to do much better for OSCEs and pwn.
yup!

shall take a nice hot shower and think about the future and not regret the past.

i dont know what the hell you're trying to do. shall not bother.

-cheryl~*

Letter to a tutor

2010-07-27T21:41:00.001-07:00

I admire ppl who can stand up immediately after falling down, not be crushed n move on with their lives. I for one, am not like that.

After a lot of crying and ranting, I'm still feeling down n angry with such an unfair exam. Why does fairness have so much to do with anything? I can't seem to grasp the fact that I must accept the world for what it is, n move on just because life isn't fair and there is nothing we can do about it. I don't believe that there is nothing we can do about it, and I also find it really disheartening is all we can do is accept our fate.

I refuse to stand down. I think that a lot of ppl might think I am overreacting, but this is about my future career choice and I cannot stand making any blemish in that aspect. So why, should I allow someone to do that for me, specifically because he wants to prove that clinical competence is more impt than knowledge? Besides, I am clearly clinically competent comparing myself to anyone my year. Why must I attain the skills n detection rates of an o&g specialist after 6 weeks in my posting? Why despite my accurate investigations and management must you fail me? Did someone eat your breakfast this morning?

The baseline is that, I feel that I deserve much more compared to the abysmal results that you gave me. And I am going to get there, whether you like it or not.

All the comments in the world will not change the fact that you believe that the world revolves around your ideals, and that fairness is only by your exceedingly high expectations n you don't give a damn if this is impt to us. Your point is made, at my expense.

Yet due to the constraints of my situation, I have no choice but to swallow my pride and let u have yr way. And to ask you for a second chance which I believe you will happily decline, again at my expense.

Life sucks.

-Cheryl~*

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

sudden. thoughts.

2010-06-28T02:00:00.000-07:00

i saw 2 TOPs (termination of pregnancy) today.

they were so fast, so simple, none of the baby skull crushing things from the anti-premarital sex video we watched in secondary school, and i did feel a little pang in my heart, when the POC entered the vacuum tube.

you werent even named dear baby, you were just labelled as POC = products of conception.
you werent even a human-being, nor a life.
you werent given the chance to grow and enter the world, and you were labelled as unwanted.
there were no tears shed when you passed on, just a horrible sucking sound.

and when you feel that gritty feeling? its over, the uterus is clean, and the "baby" lies in a plastic bag, measured on the form as "POC=50 ml". and everyone goes on with their lives.

i said a little prayer for the moms, and the babies. i hope they went up to be with God.

i have no time to bother about playhouse. o&g calleth.

-cheryl~*

HAHHA

2010-06-19T06:02:00.000-07:00

CLAIRE WAS HERE

personal preference

2010-05-25T05:43:00.000-07:00

kdrama review: personal preference

overall view: disappointment. sigh. started with so much promise but wth is with the super-rushed ending! must have been the poor ratings. omg, Lee Min Ho! i thought you would do better than boys over flowers, but i guess your acting hasnt really improved, and your script picking hasnt improved either! the same zoned out looks, poor camera angles, and stoned face. sucked. disappointment disappointment disappointment! how can ppl like this drama. OMG. f-a-i-l. i seriously dont recommend this to anyone. DONT WATCH. i bet you pasta is better eeesh.

okay yes, i know psych eopt is on thursday. boo.

-cheryl~*

psychiatry.

2010-05-22T08:23:00.000-07:00

when i first started psychiatry posting, the traveling time to the hospital irked me. the consistency and regularity and how PIE will jam every morning without fail, disgusted me. the 25 min drive and continued attention while driving along PIE, gave me dry eyes and made me feel stoned on arrival at the hospital. i decided stoically, that this would be my worst posting yet.

my decision remained unchanged after 2 weeks of psychiatry, until i started my posting at IMH. some colleagues had told me before hand that IMH was the place to go, the place with the most FLORRID of presentations, the place where we actually learnt psychiatry. after 4 days at IMH, i concur with what they said. i may not have seen catalepsy, waxy flexibility etc, but i did see a good number of bipolars, substance dependence cases and a definite fair share of schizophrenia.

what struck me the most after the IMH posting, was definitely the patients. I would like to share in particular one patient, who got me thinking a lot.

This lady was a highly functioning lady, who spoke well and clearly and answered all my questions to the point. she was very neat and well-kempt, and she flicked her head gently to shift her fringe off her face, before starting the interview. "how could she be mad?" i thought to myself. i shook her hand and ushered her to her seat in the interview room.

only when she started talking about how she had hundreds of children with a certain politician, and how she loved a man who didnt exist, and how she felt she was growing a tail did i accept her diagnosis. i didnt know what to believe. i found myself taking notes and scrawling all over my notebook as i struggled to keep up with her delusions and hallucinations. she was in her own world. no, she was in 2 worlds, in ours and also in hers. i spent a total of 2.5 hours talking to this lady.

at times during the interview, she would look afraid and she would hold my hand and ask me for help. i knew that it isnt in my power to help her with her requests, and it pained me to an extent that i could offer her no comfort. i could only hope that the medications would take effect and her delusions would reduce. she has nobody to take care of her. her husband had passed away and she was all alone, and penniless to boot. she had spent all her money unwisely, basically a sad result of her condition. where would she go? what could she do after her discharge? who would take care of her? she kept asking me where she could buy a lock, to lock her door to prevent people from entering and harming her.

when she left the interview room, i was mentally exhausted and left with my mind all a whirl. i kept thinking about how someone so rational could be mentally ill, and i stood at the doorway, watching as she shuffled into the patient's dining area, where her dinner awaited, and i watched as she stooped over her food and shoveled food into her mouth. she was no longer a person, but a patient.

sometimes, i think the worst possible condition a person can get, is nothing physical, not even cancer can hold a torch to a psychiatric illness. how can one survive and live a normal life after losing his/her mind? its so scary. after the IMH posting, strangely, psychiatry seems rather interesting. but i dont think i can deal with the sadness of losing the sense of self, the fear of imaginary harm, the slow but certain deterioration of minds. thats probably why i wont enter the field.

but nothing is for certain, eh?

-cheryl~*

lets play frisbee on the clouds

2010-05-18T07:43:00.000-07:00

minus - the little girl filled with magic.

i love this comic!

http://www.kiwisbybeat.com/

-cheryl~*

Beauty of fire

2010-05-15T21:23:00.000-07:00

Pollution of the air.

Invitation to a dream- a fire garden installation.

It smelt terrible and the smoke clung to my hair and clothes. So much for "saving Gaia". I actually think it's such a pointless installation that's bad for the environment. Fire despite being so primitive, has evidently remained important and relevant in our lives, or so this installation claims.

But seriously, as if haze isn't bad enough once a year.

Btw, I didn't go there on purpose, I chanced upon this smoky and rather hot sight when gg for dinner at cricket club. It's opposite this burning sight.

Not in my opinion the best start to singapore arts festival. Especially when the ozone layer suffers for our pointless enjoyment.

Well at least the firemen get a bit of action should some kid run and knock over a burning flower pot.

-Cheryl~*

rain.

2010-05-14T11:40:00.000-07:00

i saw beautiful large rain drops today, the rain water was clear and the rain drops were individual and scattered across my windscreen, and the rain drops that fell down as i drove to CGH today, left no grime or residue once the wipers swiped them to the sides of my windscreen. so wonderful and clean. the rain made me feel refreshed and happy, and i smiled to myself and at a random stranger in the car beside me at the traffic light. he must have thought i was mad.

sometimes nature reminds us about how subtle but amazing God's creation is, and how when rain falls, the earth is cleansed in some way, leaving it more beautiful than before.

i wish the rain that falls is always this clean.

its the end of the day, and of a tiring week, and i just want to curl up under my comforter, shut my eyes and listen to the rain patter against my windows and fall asleep. goodnight.

-cheryl~*

responsibility

2010-05-13T00:00:00.000-07:00

is taking good care of something you borrowed.
treating the item like your own.
being careful with it.
apologizing when that something gets broken - be it accidental or intentional.
not being indifferent when confronted by the owner.

i checked up on lens errors for canon cameras today. turns out the repair cost is usually more expensive than the camera itself, and it usually occurs when the camera is dropped from a height when the power is on, leading to either a damage to the lens withdrawing mechanism or getting dirt stuck in the mechanism. either way, expensive.

i have never ever dropped my camera before, and its surprising and disappointing that once it is out of my hands, it "falls from a height" because some idiot banged into the person using the camera and it dropped, and now there's a lens error. and the US trip is only 2 weeks away. i want my camera for the trip.

sigh.

[cam woes]

-cheryl~*

driving escapades!

2010-05-11T03:35:00.000-07:00

i drove thru a flooded stretch along bukit timah road, next to king albert park macs and the water was at least mid-calf level. it was scary. there was such a horrible flood in that area before.. i was so worried water would seep thru the cracks in my car doors and would enter my exhaust pipe and stall my CAR.

lucky i didnt stop in the flood, but drove/"putted" thru. i think the PUB isnt doing enough, if the roads keep flooding. tsk. ah wells, got back safe and sound. thank goodness!

on a happier thought, i got my electives confirmed with my tutor at TTSH.

he was much nicer than i remembered.

FUNNY. i think i got PTSD after CSFC there hahahahah.

-cheryl~*

Somethings non med related

2010-05-09T02:59:00.001-07:00

Omg I totally slept thru the shrimp wanton world championship eating contest! Omg I missed kobayashi in action): skinny men with big appetites=like(:(: ah wells maybe next time..

Now I shall make mouths water..

Tunicsian from wild honey

Went there for dinner after watching date night with emed group of friends! None of them are from my cg but I miss them sooo.. Emed wouldn't hve been the same without Amanda fits of laughter n story telling skills, josephs himbo comments, dianas timely witty remarks, lowells organic genius, chinnies pretty artwork(: etc etc. Date night was fun, n wild honey was yums!

Anw, that outing was post emed, so yes about a week ago. Psych has evidently from my posts, been a downward spiral into the abyss of nothingness. Well emed was the ultimate high posting after all(:

I also made some amigurumi after a long hiatus, n got bales of beautiful coloured yarns in diff shades of purple, navy blue, grey, reds(: luscious! I seem to hve forgotten about yellows n greens.. Evidently not my fav colours..

Anw,

Onigiri-for my sister (she has located my blog so I guess no mentioning about her anymore..hahaha!)

Tiny sanrio bear for my mum- happy mothers day! This guy was seriously a pain to make.. Had to conjoin his legs tgt.. N stitch his paws n tummy n face.. Took approx a day n a half!! The final product isn't huge, in fact the dude is the size of my palm. Nvm! Thought that counts(: I think I understuffed him though..

Agh. Onwards to my psych case write up. Been neglecting that aspect of my life lol.

-cheryl~*

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

reply to slammer

2010-05-08T02:43:00.000-07:00

"passerby: tis sad tt a medical student has no sympathy for patients. isnt medicine abt humanity, patience etc?"

hello "passerby", i just had a bad day, and everything wasn't going well. i am not particularly in love with psychiatry, and neither am i in love with the patients there. im a person of strong character, so i have little to no empathy with regards to escapist behaviour. other than that, i do empathize with my patients, and i do understand and accept that some ppl have their issues, but from my personal standpoint, shouldn't people learn to face their problems and not just run away, or seek attention by threatening their own lives? it just shows they dont treasure themselves enough.

i acknowledge the true fact that ppl in the medical field, are expected more than normal to have an overt sense of sympathy, since patients want to be understood and want to be healed both physically and emotionally. fyi, the fact that i want to help ppl is why i joined medicine in the first place. without humanity, i wouldnt have lasted so long in med school.

i do appreciate your view though, however, pls dont judge me from a couple of posts. if you dont know who i am and have never seen me work, you cant make any conclusion. medical school is trying, and sometimes patients treat us like irritants and treat us horribly. trust me, we all do what we can for the patients. and i did make myself scarce after the patient declined talking to me twice.

but seriously, this is my personal blog, and i should be allowed to put whatever i want on it, if you can tell me seriously you never had a bad day, and are perfect in every other aspect of your character, then you can comment. if you're not in the field, you will have no idea what we go through everyday.

otherwise, passerby, i think you have issues.

another passerby: thanks for the help. appreciate it.

-cheryl~*

its gonna be a PAINFUL 4 WEEKS..

2010-05-06T05:32:00.000-07:00

i have decided to take a hot shower and then jump into bed, as my contacts are killing my eyes, and everything has started to blur. well, i haven't really been in a dry, air-conditioned environment, in addition to concentrating extra hard for a 20 min drive to CGH to prevent any accidents.

there were two horrible drivers who almost banged into me today, and thankfully with a loud BEEP of my car horn, they swerved back into their respective lanes. like seriously, can you guys open your eyes or something? these are the ppl i look out for, and dry my eyes out for.

anw, a random note, im starting to get that feeling of a wall again. i seriously dont understand why you get so weird and a tad defensive when im around? whats wrong man seriously? my height? what i talk about? its so sad, like i dont know you anymore. i think the fact that we always go off and do our own things, and never catch up, makes us drift further and further apart. even electives, none of them you want to do with me.. like im the last on the list of prospective candidates. anyway you probably wont read this, since its probably been ages since you've last been here.. even when like me and X fight, you never take my side, cos you think its bad for dynamics. i guess im feeling a bit insecure and betrayed, since seriously, if you fought with anyone, i'll do what good friends do and support and comfort you, instead of taking the logical approach to protect myself.

at this point of the post, i thank God for my CG and for God himself, because without him, i think i will muck around and die in depression.

anw, on a happier note, i got my med elective more or less settled already, and secured myself an awesome tutor. strict but really good. and he remembers me! for the worst reasons though hahahaha. thats the only thing that made my day.

other than this, the fact that this patient rejected me TWICE despite me being all smiles and welcoming and understanding.. seriously man, i really dont understand why ppl contemplate ending their lives over minute stupid things, especially LOVE. omg my girl friend broke up with me, i must DIE. my heart is broken and i wanna run away. pls for goodness sake, leave all your friends and family behind and be irresponsible and stupid and severe your palmaris longus. we shiver in fear.

i really HATE psych.
travelling to CGH every freaking morning, is totally NOT worth it for psych. TSK.
theres nothing interesting, and everyone you talk to you have to have copious amounts of patience to get anything coherent out of them. ARGH.

i re-iterate.
H-A-T-E P-S-Y-C-H.

-cheryl~*

beartato!

2010-05-05T09:32:00.000-07:00

beartato = half bear + half potato!

so cute.

read here!

-cheryl~*

sometimes

2010-05-03T08:30:00.000-07:00

man wins.

i hope psych will be as awesome.
okay i have no idea why i posted this pic, just thought it was cool i guess. ^^

-cheryl~*

the beauty of nature?

2010-04-27T06:39:00.000-07:00

lightning injury resulting in the characteristic spidery or pine tree appearance on the skin.

nicer than most tattoos ive seen, more unique and also a display of mighty luck from surviving a lightning strike.

i also read about a dude who was mowing his lawn, jamming to tunes on his ipod, when he got struck by lightning! he suffered perm hearing loss. sad lol.

-cheryl~*

SO MANLY!!!

2010-04-25T10:55:00.000-07:00

this is a backdated post, just some "dr-admiration". lol

*patient in shock bp 68/37, lying on bed in resuscitation area, dr N was ready to set plug and get blood, but notices tourniquet missing*

dr N (to students): tourniquet please!
dr K (to dr N): no worries. *walks over and stands beside the patients right arm* --> *dr K using his own hand, compresses around the patients bicep acting as a tourniquet*
dr N + students: *stun*

dr N proceeds to take blood and succeeds.

wow, so manly right! thats why surgeons are so awesome. hahahaha!
yes my secret ulterior motive of getting into GS is to hook myself a manly/confident MAN!

rofl. joking.

-cheryl~*

awesome!

2010-04-25T06:36:00.000-07:00

cant wait for the season finale!

so much to study for emergency medicine. hope i can make it!
even though nobody fails, i dont want to have a 51% on my results page.
omg, that will be SO SAD.

i seem to be feeling abit hyperthermic today, unless its my aircon at fault, had to change from a tshirt to a tank top, and its still so HOT. my air con is at 22 deg already!

-cheryl~*

marvin the martian

2010-04-22T10:50:00.000-07:00

used to be my favourite cartoon character ever!
must be the same aspiration to take over the world!
*evil maniac laughter* - and then fails terribly, as usual. lol

i am also liking the approach to pikachu.

you can view more cool cartoon anatomy here!

shall sleep now! after a lot of reading of the black book. zzz.

-cheryl~*

"im watching your back"

2010-04-19T19:10:00.000-07:00

sometimes, i wish there was someone beside me to watch mine too :)

-cheryl~*

end of ambulance runs!

2010-04-19T18:57:00.000-07:00

definitely sigh of relief.
although im a bit disappointed at the lack of interesting cases.
but that just means less ppl are falling dangerously ill
which is good for the rest of the world.
at least i took multiple naps during my runs,
and took a peek into the lives of paramedics.
definitely an eye-opening experience.

things i still have to do:
1. read the black book and memorize stuff
2. get my HPV 2nd dose
3. figure out ECGs (yes i cant imagine why im still wavering over ECGs)
4. complete my 10 case write ups (omg.)
5. get my CMC india application through + trust God on company

i think thats all for now, sigh, if only i had more time, and felt less tired at the end of the day.

-cheryl~*

a night well spent.

2010-04-16T14:49:00.000-07:00

emed in sgh is usually spent waiting around to clerk non-chest pain/giddiness patients for case write ups, finding cool physical examination findings and setting IV plugs etc. i have to say ive been rather detached with the patients ive met so far. im actually far more talkative than most, and i take time to talk crap with my patients, and help them bide time while they wait for the doctors to see them.

today's call began different from any other, as the only reason why i was doing call, was cos my grand uncle had parked in front of my car, and i couldn't drive out lol. he was also at a medical appointment, and since i was leeching off the parking at the shophouse he owns (my mum's siblings and her own an apartment in that block), i decided to not bother him with my schedule and hang around for call.

let me just re-iterate, that the "medical students curse" is very very true. the more medical students hang around, the less happens. and the more chest pains are brought into critical care, and clerking becomes uninteresting. that's probably why i talk a lot of rubbish with my patients.

i met an uncle, who is a contractor by trade, and a very devout buddhist. he shared with me his philosophy in life, which i think, despite the different religious beliefs between us, is a very good one. he believes that he should make everyone around him smile and be happy. he doesnt believe in discord and anger, and instead advocates peace and harmony. (a very buddhist kind of belief i must add.) very applicable in my trade, since patients are always unwell and irritable, sometimes i think its essential to treat the patients as human beings, and not as cases, as a lot of us do. sometimes, talking about recent political events or lifestyle beliefs makes them smile and them feel a bit better. the uncle was telling me about how i should find a boyfriend at least 6 years older than me, as the rates of divorce in couples with very close ages is very very very high. so random!

i also talked to the son of this lady who was complaining about lower abdominal pain and vomiting. he was telling me about how his mother, who has had so many operations in the past, despite her age, takes great pains to look after her husband, who is bed-ridden after a stroke. she is a small woman, but she always does the transferring of her 95 kg husband. she is an incredibly strong woman, with bilateral mastectomies and her ovaries removed due to cancer - possibly BrCa gene related. and yet, still going strong. she was dx to have constipation, prob secondary to colonic adhesions due to the multiple operations in the past. thank goodness it was nothing serious.

well carrying on to the more interesting and "good stuff" for the night.

1.totally diagnosed pleural effusion and felt stony dullness thru a respi exam.

2.clerked a copious hemoptysis case, who went into hypovolemic shock and had to be fluid resuscitated and sent to MICU. also detected consolidations and creps in both bases.

3.i did a T&S (toilet and suture) for this gentleman who had been beaten up by mysterious strangers. wooo. exciting! the MO was so nice! letting me do the T&S.

4.saw a plausible aortic dissection, central chest pain going suddenly to the back, with a patient doubling over in pain and curling up on the bed - turned out to be unstable angina cos there were no signs of aortic dissection, BP on both arms were similar, no difference in pulse pressures radial-radial, and radial-femoral, and no CXR changes expected of dissection.

5. saw a very very sick patient, on the dangerously ill list, and how he deteriorated and passed on. we were just listening to his lungs to detect a massive consolidation (aspiration pneumonia) and in half an hour, he deteriorated. his vitals dropped drastically, with his BP around 50+ systolic, and SaO2 being 51%. he just passed on quietly, his stridor just went away, and he seemed at peace. i dont know if it was the time or i was just feeling a bit tired, but his passing felt rather surreal. i didnt really believe that he was gone, until his family came in and they started wailing. then i thought about how i would deal with my parents passing away, and i knew that if that happened, i probably wouldnt know what to do, and feel so helpless, and so sad that they are really gone. what would i do then? how would i mourn? i dont know. the only comfort was perhaps they would head to a world without pain or disease, and would live by Jesus' side in the glory of heaven. i think the most difficult thing in medicine is breaking bad news, and ensuring psychological care for the family of the deceased.

6. dengue hemorrhagic shock. scary. confusing. high tension. got saboed by jaryl into doing a catheterization. despite not having done one since surg, and forgetting most of the steps. i was so worried i perfed his urethra, cos he started getting hematuria, but it was dx as secondary to his low platelet count and DIVC state. doing a catheterization on a hemodynamically unstable patient (seesawing BP at 70mmHg systolic despite litres of IV saline and gelafusine) is so mega stressful. i kinda detached my emotive state from body and things went pretty okay, its crazy trying to keep composure and hold the patient's penis up and perform a procedure that you did so long ago, i cant really remember what happened, adrenaline rushing and i think retrograde amnesia due to the fear, but everything went okay thanks to all the help from the 3 brains around me - abhi, chinnie and jaryl. again i declare - scary. at least it went in, and i didnt complicate things. also, translating the doctor's words for his mom wasn't easy. she was so scared and shocked at the seriousness of his condition, he was fluid resuscitated and had tubes hanging out of most orifices. challenging, considering i didnt know how to say dengue fever in chinese. its hard to break bad news. hard.

home.

had 4 cups of tea today. tired. drove home, along some roads which had no street lamps as they short-circuited from the rain. dangerously scary. wet roads too. reached home at 5:08 am.
its 5:47 am and im not sleeping yet. had a nice hot bath and am snuggled up in bed. shall catch some shut eye and fall asleep before the sun comes up. yay. at least tmr is saturday and i can sleep in.

a totally worth it call. if only more calls were like that.

-cheryl~*

omg! they have such pretty stuff :D

2010-04-14T08:32:00.000-07:00

-MODCLOTH-

-cheryl~*

random. SMBC!

2010-04-14T07:19:00.000-07:00

>:D

for the future colorectal surgeons!

-cheryl~*

patients that get my goat

2010-04-12T10:23:00.000-07:00

this old woman, coming in for chest pain, and the normal stuff. sounded like stable angina but she was still worried. i took all the time in the world to explain the possibilities of re-stenosis after a balloon, how myocardial ischemia works, and then started to take blood. good grief, i got flash-back the moment i put the canula in. and when i took the needle out she started to leak blood.. i compressed the vein proximally but she still leaked la. got the blood taken and she was grumbling about how she lost "so much blood" and how the polyclinic didnt spill this much blah blah blah. i was super apologetic, but man, the way she berated me made me want to reverse time and let some other person do the poking. preferably someone with shaky hands and bad technique, taking all the time in the world to get flashback and wiggle around inside the vein like exploring unchartered territory, and cause her a hematoma, and 100x the pain she experienced under me, oh, and poke her multiple times cos her freaking veins were damn irritatingly thin-walled and fragile.

seriously? students need to learn. losing an ounce of blood will not kill you. and i poked you once, i didnt hesitate and kink the canula or have to repoke you multiple times even though you're some old lady with BAD VEINS. bitching about it to everyone you see wont change the fact that you have a stable angina and it probably wont kill you. but at the rate you're treating everyone.. something definitely will. eeeeeesh.

why cant all the patients be like that nice uncle, who allowed 3 medical students to try taking blood from him, and despite the failures, he was so understanding. he went through so much more discomfort than you la! you pink-bloused old lady who has the level of understanding of a MR patient. in fact i prefer an MR patient, at least they dont bitch like you.. female patients like this stable angina one, have time to wear nice pink embroidered blouses, and have hair combed nicely, with matching shoes etc. AMI? duh no. when i left the a&e she was still waiting for a bed, i poked her at 9pm and i hope she waits till 9 am the next morning and they tell her there's nothing wrong and she has to go home. I-R-R-I-T-A-T-I-N-G.

i felt so bad, cos the MO had to cover for me.. and she was so nice and told me to not get bothered with such patients. your ovaries may be shrivelled up, but please still respect those who are trying to "help" you. berating everyone wont get you better in a faster time. it might just do the reverse.

anyway she was still talking about me when i walked by, to her daughter. eeegad! seriously, a speciality with less talk with patients and more action (ie. SURG) is for me. i cant stand bitchy patients. sorry, my patience level with them is at level -20.

sometimes i miss those days when patients respect doctors and dont talk back. now, medicine has become more like a service.. and patients are all about rights. you want better treatment, dont come to a public hospital. its a teaching hospital for goodness sake.

"omg im losing so much blood. im going to die" --> refers to small patch on bed.
should have let her bleed more.

-cheryl~*

ahhhhhh its over!

2010-03-29T00:50:00.000-07:00

Nodame Cantabile anime is complete!

i'll definitely miss it. i love the story, and how music ties up everything. and its so great she finally found her passion in music and decided to follow up on it and spread her special and unique music to the world! :)

ending is a bit rushed, but it incorporated everything in the manga :) very true to the manga, just the kind of anime i like. :) yay. i cant wait for the movie to come out! even though i know the ending.. its still so exciting. :)

-cheryl~*

I never noticed

2010-03-21T07:11:00.001-07:00

I had sausage-y toes until I took this picture.. Guess they aren't that photogenic lol. Polka dots!! Amazing what you can do during fam med posting(:(:

Yes.. That is the back of my student handbook rofl.

-Cheryl~*

i thank God for..

2010-03-19T04:05:00.000-07:00

webcast lectures, cause they mean i dont have to set my alarm clock and i can sleep in.
rain, cos the weather has been so hot and smoky lately.
hot cheese sausage, during a cold fam med tutorial.
such a special car, cos i saw an exact same one (red vw beetle) coming in the opposite direction on sixth avenue and it was so cool cos i waved at the driver and she waved back.
family dinners, cos ive not had them in a while.

-cheryl~*

wooo topgear.

2010-03-18T21:31:00.000-07:00

ive just discovered what car my neighbour's got.

caterham 7 classic

despite the fact that it doesnt have doors, its AMAZING isn't it! like a piece of history in your garage.

and this means im probably going to talk walks around my neighbourhood and walk past the gates and admire this car numerous times.
just because, its close becoming my first indulgence car. this is the car i will buy after ive gotten my lexus is250. im not touching a merc cos they are so ugly or a beemer cos the servicing will kill me. hahaha. oh my, why am i talking like i have so much money. if only i did..

-cheryl~*

okay i must stop ranting.

2010-03-16T07:01:00.000-07:00

i actually think complaining so much kind of throws mud all over and causes the path between me and God to grow weeds, covering it up, making it impossible for me to find. ive been getting strangely mentally weak and things that shouldnt affect me are starting to eat away my self. i actually attempted over the weekend, to start a thanksgiving book.

but all i can think of is simple-minded things to thank God for, like being alive, being able to take a breath, having a car to drive me to and fro from fam med, having a nice mentor who loves his job, having a comfortable bed to sleep the afternoons away, having the tokio hotel and paramore albums in my itunes, having a sister to watch tuesday night laughs with, that there is no war in Singapore, that im actually well to do enough to pay for my own parking, and that my dad is hip enough to wear a pink shirt to his business trip.

meeting up with my cousin, im thankful for her, since honestly, i'm the kind who wont call ppl out but feel lonely when nobody calls me out, it was a great night out, im sorry i was so sleepy and tired from open house, but seriously, im thankful to God for you in my life, thanks for the beautiful engraved wooden bracelet.

plus, the problem i had is gone. we made up. God answered my prayer. the cookies were awesome. thanks for contributing to my spare tyre around my waist (:

wow, i actually feel better now.

i guess if you want to, de-weeding the path is not that difficult.

-cheryl~*

family medicine in a nutshell.

2010-03-16T06:45:00.000-07:00

expensive parking
overwhelming numbers of cough, cold, flu, diarrhoea
expensive PARKING!

and an uncooperative mum. refuses to give me a lift. says she'll be late for work and everything. yar, your chairman starts to catch you the day i need your help. nonsense. she always comes up with excuses when i need her help. only willing to help her younger daughter. disgusting.

-cheryl~*

i hate it

2010-03-13T08:06:00.000-08:00

when ppl dont get what im trying to say.
when the person i want to support my stand, rationalizes instead.
when ppl dont have a pov.
when ppl are pretentious and fake.
when ppl try to be politically correct all the time.

grow a backbone.
be human.

i dont need a windvane that changes direction with the wind.

-cheryl~*

i am so tired.

2010-03-13T06:50:00.000-08:00

woke up late and had to speed bathe and rush to school for NUS open house. spent friggin 9 hours in school entertaining the most stupid questions regarding admission into NUS. GAWD. almost everything they asked was in the brochure. yo, we wasted paper to print brochures with information on these issues, and you just ask questions regarding everything that is inside cos you are too lazy to read it. 2nd irritating case, "i want to be a (insert specialist here), how to i go about doing it?". GET INTO MEDICINE FIRST YOU OVERCONFIDENT POMPOUS DOOFUS. then we will talk about specializing.

macs for lunch, had to wait for a while after the open house cos was supposed to meet my cousin at 7pm. but i was really tired and i was trying to read proust, but the words just literally flew over my head. they had wings. red bull. lala. oh and i actually think yong siew toh conservatory is amazingly beautiful. if only, NUS will build such a nice building for medicine too....

so picked my cousin up at buona vista and after dropping my cousin off after dinner at sunset way and ice cream at daily scoop, i was on my way back. and was trying to cut right so i could turn right and get home. but no, this yellow CITYCAB taxi wouldnt give way, and he wouldnt let me cut right, so i missed the right turn, making me have to go a frigging huge round to get back home. ASSHOLE. fyi i was trying to cut at least a kilometre away from the right turning, with my signal light on, yet, he kept driving half a car length next to me for the entire kilometre. argh.

when i got home, i was banging on the front door cos i forgot my keys, and my maid as deaf as ever and sleeping like a pig. didnt hear anything, so i had to walk around the house, with all my barang and closely missing a metal clothes hanging line (cos it was dark) and bang on her window. the barang was heavy. and my sis claims she has blocked ears so she didnt hear anything. LIAR. i bet she was just too obsessed watching anime.

you're sick, but you dont want to take the drowsy medication to get better cos you want to watch anime. so go ahead and cough your lungs out. this is the classic case, of failure of treatment due to patient factors.

im icky, tired and cranky. so sorry for the rant guys.

-cheryl~*

I am still..

2010-03-09T08:10:00.001-08:00

Constipated.. I think I have partial i/o!! Like my input >> output and I keep feeling bloated and uncomfortable.

I've had this problem even before pros started. The constipation is relieved with occasional bouts of diarrhoea. Oh dear, I hope it solves itself soon.

I shall try drinking more water. Much more water.

On the other hand, I have no freaking idea how to write a fam med case write up with one word case notes.. Shall figure out somehow.. Zzz.

N applications for electives are a pain! I hope I get cmc and then I can relaxx!! Zzz. DO better work faster.. They are my rate limiting step in my application process..

Ooooooo. My tummy keeps churning but nothing comes out! Wtffff ):):):

Tsk. Intestinal obstruction is hardly sexy at all. Boo.

- Cheryl~*

beetle loving admist DPC.

2010-02-18T23:15:00.000-08:00

some beetle loving! *u*

i havent driven my car for an entire week,

so my mum was worried that the car battery might "die",

so i took my beetle out for a spin!

short spin. but a spin nonetheless.

so refreshing, might take it out for another spin later. hahahaha.

i have the most awesome car ever!

i have this 80 year old uncle who came over for cny visiting,

who commented on seeing my car in the garage,

that it was very "ke ai".

yes it is very ke ai.

okay back to dpc!

i really hope infectious disease doesnt come out.

-cheryl~*

lol.

Heh heh.

2010-02-11T07:18:00.001-08:00

Cake pops take freaking long omg. Going half mad doing them, they are in the fridge cooling and I haven't even coated them yet..

Anw I made cupcakes with the leftover cake mix, and they've got somewhat of an attitude. Especially when they heard about pros.

Heres what one thought after I was talking to it about my study schedule..

Heh heh. So cutes! They are mini cos the recipe wasn't meant for cupcakes so they didn't rise as much. Yummy choco cake in the form of a cupcake.

I feel accomplished(:

Oh yah. Did I mention I love my maid before? She's so awesome, n I just discovered she's just one year older than me.. And she's got a kid back in indo n is married already.. Coming overseas to work at such a young age isn't easy. Nice to talk to her, n she loves to bake too! Okay post pros shall embark on more baking with my maid for help(: she's like an older sister I never had la(:

-Cheryl~*

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Random mutterings

2010-02-10T06:02:00.000-08:00

Wing, Charlotte n Jiayan came over today to borrow my kitchen to bake.. Helping someone with her vday bake goods hahaha! Anw turned out pretty yummy from how it looks(: hope it's yummy after the jello is added(: I prob would have enjoyed the session more if I wasn't so shagged from studying): I kinda felt as if I had a dark cloud hanging over my head..fatigue I think n also the fact that I was emo cos no one to bake for.. Jking! Hahaha.

Ah wells. I was thinking of baking vday goods as well but I don't think I will see u around so i cant pass u the stuff even if i made them.. so what's the point. I will prob take daelens advice, "hello? Pros is one week away from vday?!" n not bake. Lol.

Looks like vday will be another boring day this year.

Happy bday Charlotte!(:

-Cheryl~*

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

ever had

2010-02-09T08:53:00.000-08:00

a dream that felt so real, with grass that you could smell, a hand you could hold, a voice you could hear, a face you could see?

a dream so wonderful that you didnt want to wake up?

well, i had one this morning.

it made my heart race, skip a beat and flutter, and i felt all warm inside, and happy.

"we were sitting in a garden, with the grass between our toes and we were talking. i was so happy just hearing your voice, all my woes and burdens just faded away. i lay my head upon your shoulder and you put your arm around me and gave me a hug for comfort.."

thats pretty much what i remember. sigh, i miss you so much that even my unconscious state is thinking about you! when will i next see you, i wonder.

anw, i didnt want to wake up from the dream, so i went back to sleep, covered my head with my comforter and shielded my eyes from the morning sun. and then woke up at 3 pm.

nice. 12 days to pros still liddat.

i need to stop escaping reality, but i cant help myself from missing you. if only you knew.

-cheryl~*

Hot wings!

2010-02-08T10:12:00.001-08:00

Picture of hot wings from sunset grill! I want to try. Sorry forgot to add pic for post below.

-Cheryl~*

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

No more

2010-02-08T10:05:00.001-08:00

Nonsense.
I need to do some serious time with my pharmacology n cofm notes.
Maybe if I grind them up and mix them up with cranberry juice and drink it down, it will magically enter my brain.
Crap I'm a med student who n I kidding, we all know it'll end up as runny shit.
And I'll lose my notes.
Which reminds me, I can't seem to locate my paracetemol n NSAIDs notes):):

Was watching numb nuts amidst the long and arduous journey through my pharmacology notes.. And they were at sunset grill n pub at seletar airspace for a challenge! Level 35 hot wings! For those who don't know the levels stand for levels of spicyyyy.

Looking hot. I had kind of a revelation during the episode too, cos I really want to go there but I know most girls will be too humji to try. So I thought to myself if there was some guy out there who didn't think I was a strange girl for liking a challenge, or laugh at my interest in hot wings and placing my name on the wall of fame, I'll prob marry the guy. Okay he has to be regular sized meaning thin, and taller than me.

Okay sorry I'm spouting nonsense at 2 am. Eeeeeeesh. Nights.

-Cheryl~*

i smell of BBQ smoke

2010-02-07T06:11:00.000-08:00

on every freaking part of my body. the fragrance (note that fragrance does not automatically mean nice/sweet-smelling, as we learnt in Occupational Med) has permeated and invaded my clothing and clings to the top layers of the keratin covering my stratified squamous keratinized epithelium. probably suffocated a couple layers of my skin cells. i can just imagine those poor cells, shriveling up in the smoke, choking, and asphyxiating. not nice.

anw, why this is happening is not cos i have decided to smoke myself to preserve my meat and allow generations of the future to experience the wonderful aromas, and swoon over the delicate taste of smoked human flesh. cos i went to Newton Hawker Centre for a late night supper post-OT3 with a general number of medicine friends and some of my OG mates.

i will now proceed on to summarize my supper into happy points:

1. had great food - char kway teow, fried carrot cake, aw luat (oyster egg), hokkien mee..
2. caught up with ppl i haven't talked to in ages (some of my OG mates)
3. took a breather amidst the mounts of notes i have to go thru
4. filled my tummy - always good
5. got some good advice regarding girls asking guys out.
6. found out some interesting information - like how qy likes to see men with moobs in compromised positions. and his new found "interest". in addition, the guys in my OG were talking about joining SDU to find their better halves, and "freaking out" as they were getting old, and urging me to find a guy before i graduate.
7. free parking! was so happy i didnt have to tear coupon.
8. qy treated drinks, cos he lost a bet regarding a parking lot. he told me to drive forward cos he saw an empty lot, but from my angle i saw the bum of a suzuki swift (hate them) so i asked him if he would like to bet on it. and he went "YAR!" *damn confident* and i won. free drinks :D lucky we never make you get stingray lors.

for goodness sake! "guys age like wine, girls turn to vinegar" who is more worried? its so strange talking to them about these things, they seem to be trivializing the problem, when its like totally socially acceptable for them to ask the opposite gender out. hahaha, they did offer good, strong advice, and its nice listening to how guys think, once in a while. instead of girls just encouraging you to gao bai, sometimes i think they think less of your welfare then their gossipy fun. tsk.

on a nice happy note, OT3 was superb. the story was kinda flouncy, they love development was kinda awkward and not really there for tiffany and bengseng, this was probably due to the multiple storylines they were cramming into the plot. but i love mervyn and eugenia! so typical-kdrama-y love story. loved the music, the quah brothers are terribly talented. i do think med has probably the best spread of multi-talented ppl, blessed with great athletes, wonderful musicians, great actors. anything we do is always a success. much depends on who's at the helm of things though, (refering to OT2).

"you're like a tumour in my brain, driving me insane"

-cheryl~*

oh yar i found this really cool website.
neatorama!
where i found interesting links to cool websites:
cool post-it funny drawings. inspiration for pictionary.
DAMN weird/funny/comics - good humour during exams

oh yar i did this cool quiz - made by the author of oatmeal. i am his fan! he is so witty and smart :D

$5625.00

girls night out.

2010-02-04T07:45:00.000-08:00

i kinda think singapore is beautiful at night, especially the city area, when all the hustle and bustle dies down at 9 pm. there are fewer cars on the road, less people around, less noise, less rush. the roads are so empty you can lie on them and look at the stars. sometimes we say that the ends, justify the means. i do agree for tonight.

had like a mini-adventure after watching the imaginarium of dr parnassus with beatrice and jiayan today. the movie was good. very cool, but hard to catch the storyline if you dont know whats going on, like by the time you understand who's who and what's going on, its over. lucky i read the spoilers first. :) anyways, our target dinner spot was timbre@old school, so i used beatrice's 3G linked iphone, and found directions to the mount sophia car park from the cathay. got there, saw this indian guy stationed at the carpark barrier there taking the cash cards and putting it into the machine before the barrier goes up. there was this very non-de-script laminated paper sign saying that timbre was closed, but none of us paid much attention. drove in, parked. jiayan hopped out to check with the timbre crew, and yes it was closed for some private function. disdain, despair, horror. i was half convinced my $2 was deducted since the parking was per-entry. so we parked and ran to the indian uncle to ask.. (i was half prepared to scold him for not verbalizing the non-de-script sign and get my money back) thankfully, 10 min grace period. but after all that time wasted parking, running to the indian dude, and running back to my car, we all ran back and drove to the exit barrier, and i was rushing cos i thought 10 min was up, and i like climbed out of my car window, with my foot still on the brake, cos if not the car will crash into the barrier. lucky i am tall. quite a sight really. i think the ppl in the car behind was really amused.

decided to go to timbre@arts house, since our craving for timbre food was yet to be satisfied. so we decided to use beatrice's wonderful 3G-enabled (free) iphone maps, and we located arts house. so we took a drive. boy it was a one hour drive, after getting lost, and going in circles. we finally found the parking place along connaught drive and walked to timbre@arts house.

the wooden bench at timbre never felt this butt-comfy. not that my fashionably red beetle black leather seats arent butt comfy. the wooden bench was just.. stationary. driving when lost is remarkably stressful. dinner was fun, but i got emo halfway, and i think i started keeping quiet and thinking about some stuff and like just munched on pizza. i think it was half fatigue.

oh yar. lesson learnt: never go to timbre if you drive. damn sian, couldnt and didnt drink. im still quite horrified at my friend's brother's accident from drink-driving. it was really scary. he was in such a bad state. first hand experience of the consequences i guess.

okay im going to bathe now, so i dont emo anymore. crap, i keep thinking about things i shouldnt be worried about. its strange. i also think i cant sleep cos im so emo. keeps me awake.

i need to KNOW! someone help me find out.

-cheryl~*

:(

2010-02-02T01:19:00.001-08:00

i think he is attached.

ah wells.

-cheryl~*

good riddance!

2010-01-28T06:34:00.001-08:00

data entry! wahahhahaha. no more spss. :D

-cheryl~*

adding another entry

2010-01-26T06:51:00.000-08:00

for a secret reason.

if you can guess the reason, you score one point!

-cheryl~*

weird ppl read my blog

2010-01-26T06:37:00.000-08:00

and discuss it! omg.
should i privatize it?

-cheryl~*

like two peas in a pod.

2010-01-24T10:56:00.000-08:00

but what happens, if we're different.
if the monetary values and principles in life, totally different.
i know that people are different,
but why do i like familiarity more than i like ppl who are different from me.
what made us friends?
i dont remember.

for every choice, we pick different things.
we live different lives. but are friends in front of ppl.
i dont know what goes on in your life. neither do you mine.
i never get anything back. or maybe i just dont know what i get back.
everytime you do things somehow,
i just feel more and more disheartened and disillusioned.

do you feel this way as well?

-cheryl~*

my mum

2010-01-21T19:18:00.000-08:00

it is confirmed by blood tests that my mum has chikungunya.
MOH called her up this morning to ask her where she was the past few days and NEA will probably come by to do a sweep of the house premises for mosquito breeding sites.
the doctor said that she just needs to rest at home, cos its less fatal than dengue. lol.
at least we now know what it is.
i really hope i dont get it. that would SUCK much much

-cheryl~*

this has been a trying 2 weeks

2010-01-21T04:47:00.000-08:00

1. got into accident on the PIE last week

2. made an insurance claim for the accident

3. have to drive a replacement car that creaked and groaned like anything

4. mum gets ?dengue and has generalized arthralgia (joint pain) and spiking fevers

5. complete data analysis in 2 days

6. did a 1.5 hour presentation to the group on data analysis

thats so far. everything except my mum getting ?dengue is related to CHP so i have come up with a theory.

mishaps ------------> pain is confounded by CHP.

Definition of confounder: confounding occurs when the association between exposure to a factor (mishaps) and the consequent development of a dz (pain) is distorted by a third variable (CHP) which is itself associated with the factor and the disease.

CHP is a risk factor for pain.

CHP is associated with mishaps.

CHP is not in the intermediate step in the causal path between exposure and disease.

whee! amazing how clear i am on confounders already. hahahaha.

at least we have finally completed data. presentation and report writing, pls choose the data you want yourselves. we have worked hard enough :( lalala.

-cheryl~*

Great news!

2010-01-18T02:01:00.001-08:00

Insurance contacted me and the other party is taking the full responsibility for the accident. So I can finally repair my car!!(: so tmr, have to send down my car for surveyor assessment and repair(: and confirm my replacement car for the next week. Got offered Toyota rush by the company n it was like one of those cars I was considering before getting my beetle. Interesting(:

Okay. At least the ordeal is almost over.

Tmr got data meeting n I have to send my car down to vw to get it fixed too during lunch! Tmr will b a bz day):

-Cheryl~*

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

im turning into..

2010-01-16T07:36:00.001-08:00

an old wrinkled pruny grandma!

im excited over getting new yarn. omg.

-cheryl~*

btw

2010-01-15T09:37:00.000-08:00

i think i fall hard and fast in love. like if i dont see you i feel so empty and i cant sleep, how i wonder if anything will ever happen between us. things from our conversation keeps repeating in my head.. its so strange. seriously, why are you running in circles in my head. i need to do data entry! later got errors how?sigh, even finding out you're a commitment-phobic from some facebook quiz makes me worried..

someone once told me that girls are so stupid to blog about their feelings and not express what they feel to the guy. im sorry man, i have no courage okay? im just scared he'll reject me. as i have to others.. i scared i got karma! later he really commitment phob how?! >.<

OKAY. i think im emo after seeing some beautiful wedding photos on facebook.
omg her dresses are SO PRETTY!! zzz

-cheryl~*

hmm..

2010-01-15T09:13:00.000-08:00

after seeing both of you tonight.
i think you two are really lucky to have found each other, even though it has taken so long, but better late than never! :)

now then.. when will i find mine?

-cheryl~*

Meet my pink cat friend

2010-01-14T07:56:00.001-08:00

As stated above!

I need to buy eyes n more yarn!! Heee(:
Amigurumi is so addicting!
I learnt how to change colours already!! Like damn pro(:

-Cheryl~*

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Meet Muffles

2010-01-13T08:19:00.001-08:00

I just completed my very first amigurumi!! Okay there are a couple of discrepencies n blatant errors but at least the stuffing isn't leaking out(:(:

So tiny! So cute! Hahahah!

Oh yes I made my insurance claim today.. The lady told me that I can't repair my car until the taxi company files an insurance report as well.. Hopefully I won't have to wait too long for my repairs, it's sad to drive around with my number plate cable tied to my car.. It just spoils the image man! Sigh why so suay..

-Cheryl~*

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

hard as a rock.

2010-01-12T06:06:00.000-08:00

got into a car accident on the PIE today. was on my way to bedok for fieldwork. traffic was stopped for the vehicles involved to move from the right most lane to the road shoulder. very cool. strangest coincidence that behind the vehicles involved, was a police car. kind of like God knew i would get into an accident.

i dont know if im suffering from whiplash, but my neck and shoulders kind of ache, and i thought i felt a step along my cervical vertebra. cant tell for sure cos i was feeling myself. no numbness in my fingers or tingling sensation as of yet.

need to claim insurance tmr. mom said even though the taxi barreled into my beetle's sad behind, could still be my fault, cos there was a motorcyclist who banged into the taxi's behind. sigh. and all i did was stop to avoid hitting the car in front, he was the car who came to a complete standstill. sigh.

my beetle's structure was fairly intact, except my reverse light fell out, and i dont know where it is. and my number plate fell off, so on the way home, she was a sad beetle lacking an identity for her behind. plus there were a couple of scratches over her behind. sigh.

interesting bunch of ppl involved. the motorcyclist wasnt that badly injured, more like grazed superficially, and he was more interested in his limited edition bike.. which after the accident couldnt move. and the passenger in the taxi and the motorcyclist were very interested in my car number, which they decided would be a good bet for 4D tmr. well done. the taxi driver was just damn sian, i noticed he had sclera icterus, and xanthelesma, wanted to ask if he had liver problems but i controlled my medical student self.

spent 1 hour on the road shoulder, exchanging info, talking to police and waving to curious cars that slowed down. and feeling heartbroken over my car. i wish i could turn back time. and i had to ps weichee for fieldwork cos of the accident! crap. i hope we can finish our blocks.

how am i going to get to bedok now on! *troubled*

-cheryl~*

today is emo day

2010-01-11T08:27:00.000-08:00

the day started pretty normal, with me snoozing my iphone and sleeping an additonal 9 minutes before it started beeping again. my alarm tone is "fireflies" and despite how soothing it is, hearing it ring repeatedly just gets really annoying. anw, finally crawled out of bed at 8am, and with lectures starting at 9, not really a feasible timing. took a shower, changed, and got into my car at 840am, and guess what. turns out Ngee Ann Poly was having its joint admissions exercise today, resulting in a massive jam along clementi road. i believe they should make a right turning into Ngee Ann, instead of having a U turn at maju camp! it just clogs up the already very busy 3 lane clementi road into a 2 laned one! i wish the LTA would do something about this..

well was late for the biostats lecture, a very impt lecture especially for me since im heading data analysis. i cant be clueless about data analysis.. which despite the rather interesting story about how Fischer came up with significant value of p<0.05, im still relatively foggy about it. foggy is probably the best word at present. the 2nd lecture was just as confounding. and the briefing about cofm pros, was at best, mediocre.

had CHP meeting, got the questionnaires distributed. headed for lunch with ruizhi and jiayan, who were going to play badminton after. i wanted to play badminton, but i thought perhaps i had to do fieldwork, and i thought the CHP meeting would drag, but it didnt. and fieldwork got cancelled due to unforseen circumstance, and so i didnt bring anything to play badminton with and in the end i left when my com started to die. i also couldnt connect to the NUSOPEN wifi network, cos my NUSNET password expired, and i had no way to change it without internet. wow. convenient. and i had to send some emails asap, but i couldnt! so i left. dont think anybody noticed. until like they finished playing badminton. nobody smsed/msned/called to ask me whats up, or whats bothering me, or why i left without telling them.

somehow i got really depressed when i got home, so i jumped into the shower, and blasted hot water. and then i went to take a nap. the dreams i had during the nap were not fun, not exhilarating, just more dreary and dreadful. perhaps it is not best to take a nap to forget your troubles.

i dont deal well with stress. i dont eat as much, i dont have the energy, i sleep late, cos i get worried and get insomnia, leading to the fact that i cant wake up in the morning and the cycle continues. my mood gets worse, i see everyone as out to get me, and i cant see past little things. i expect everyone to be like me, and live up to my expectations, when i know that my saner self would see that this is impossible. i dont know what to do right now, i want to be alone, yet i dont want to be.

personally, i dont think i can last being alone. i am an emotionally dependent person. and sensitive. i need someone to listen to my troubles, to hear my thoughts, to give me advice and ideas. im not much of a leader, im not dominant like i appear to be, im actually perhaps a bit cliche, more vulnerable than most ppl think. yet, despite making this known multiple times, some ppl just dont see it, and they cant respond the way i want them to. friendships, seem at times such mere ties of convenience, going out just to get some new blouse or shoes, or catch a movie, so shallow. sometimes, i just want to go to a park and sit on the grass and talk. about the trees about the sun, about how pretty the sky looks during sunset. about what i feel, about what i want to do, about whats dragging down my heart. about the guy i like who doesnt treat me like i exist, etc.

i guess blogs are for people who have no one who truly understand what they feel. i dont think i have found someone human who understands me, but at least i have God in my life. everytime im in church and during worship, somehow, i feel empowered and i feel like i can survive in the world the coming week, i feel like i can do it on my own and pull through. i think its cos God makes me feel significant and how everything i worry about is just so stupid and minute in comparison to his greater plan. when we worry about how we'll buy our first house, get married and have children.. theres really no point.

i dont know about tomorrow,

i just live from day to day,

i dont borrow from the sunshine,

as the skies may fade to grey.

i dont worry o'er the future,

for i know what Jesus said.

and today i'll walk beside Him,

for He knows what is ahead.

-cheryl~*

calf pain

2010-01-08T08:27:00.000-08:00

fieldwork is sooooooooo hard! :(

at least the response rate was really encouraging! we didnt cover a lot of houses, like 2.5 floors only! but like all the uncles we interviewed were really nice and they really tried their best to answer questions, and participated really enthusiastically! very encouraging.

i discovered from talking to this uncle, that my chinese is really really really bad. hahaha. i read 甚 as 堪 lol. then then uncle was like huh what the heck is 尿流"堪"弱 wah damn pai seh! nvm at least now i learnt a new word. the questionnaire chinese is damn CHEEM. omg. not MGS-friendly at all. :(

at least while doing the fieldwork, got to apply our medical knowledge, a few respondants took advantage of the fact that we are future docs to ask as for medical advice and free consultations! not as if me and wei chee very qualified to give advice. lol. tried our best anw. okay next time is me doing the BP measurements! im rather rusty at it.

must try though!

had a very sinful supper after the fieldwork. but im so sleepy i think i cant stay up. oh gosh. confirm fat.

-cheryl~*

pain

2010-01-06T21:39:00.001-08:00

is being left out of the loop by ppl you treasure.

-cheryl~*

all the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players.

2010-01-06T01:03:00.000-08:00

quote from shakespeare, how our life on earth is so brief, just like a play. we exist one day and the next day we're gone. 80 years at best from the day we first cry, first open our eyes to the world, our first gasp of fresh air, our tiny raised fists proclaiming a small victory or miracle, called birth. its a nice rainy day, and the african violets i procured to compete with my sis as to who's will die first (morbid i know), are blooming. they are purple.

i read about how ppl in a bid to classify all things, classified the periods of our lives into seasons - spring, summer, autumn, winter. spring represents birth, summer the good wonderful carefree days of frolicking in the hot summer sun, autumn when things start to settle down, and winter representing death. i feel that my summer isnt really summer enough, im not enjoying the sun enough and at times i just want to drop all morals and values and fears whatsoever and do something crazy. im tired of what ifs, and im tired of regrets, and im tired of consequences.

anyways, enough of pointless rambling. i did a lot during the one week break, but nothing much to mention. caught the latest movies, went shopping, caught up with friends, ate good food, celebrated birthdays, christmas, new years. its time for resolutions, but i haven't made any. its kinda redundant if i never keep any past january anyways. i figured, there's no point rushing things. As geeky as i were when i was a kid, i've changed. took some time, but i tend to be notably slower than others.

just because its a new year, im not going to change dramatically, im not going to be less opinionated, less vocal, less brash, less lazy etc. im going to be as intimidating, as loud, as noisy, as otaku, as anti-social as before. i am not a no life, i have a life, and its my definition of having a life, so ppl who think i have no life can screw themselves. hahaha. okay. well, medicine doesnt leave much leftover for fun. its just interesting how ppl get so hyped up over the new year, and celebrate it. whats going to happen after a few months? resolutions forgotten, back to your shitty lives.

well 2010, looking down the road, seems to be a LONG one. ah whatever, every year comes with its challenges and im going to face them. at least i have my alone times to de-stress :)

anw, heading data was exactly what i thought it would be, hard work, yet a tad exhilarating. It's been a while, since i've been left with some responsibility. hopefully there wont be tears and outbursts among the group, and everyone will be happy ppl. at most, some booze at the meetings will make ppl happy. hopefully.

fringe season 1 is awesome, but i cant say the same about season 2. kind of gets screwed up once charlie francis dies, WHY MUST HE DIE! what a poor end to his character. he was my fav character! sure he rambles over his words a bit, and speaks to the floor, and without subtitles i have no freaking clue what he's saying, but his eyes are so dark and mysterious and his voice is so gruff! :) he added so much more colour to olivia's role. tsk. they didnt sign him on due to some monetary matters. WHY KEEP agent farnsworth? she's mega useless lor. tsk. must be her afro.

random note: body shop body butters smell great. should i invest in a big tub? :)

cute cake :)

-cheryl~*

Something simple.

2009-12-20T03:53:00.001-08:00

My sister steps onto new territory on the 23rd of december, when she reports to her new secondary school. No surprises there, she's most likely going to mgs, where most of her friends are going(:

So exciting! I remember my first day at mgs, meeting new people and new friends(: from various schools, as the mg primary girls mostly were in other classes(:

Anw I must really be getting old, I keep reminising about the past instead of looking towards the future.

Church was pretty christmassy today, singing Christmas songs, having the infant baptism, where little babies get water on their heads and they respond by turning their heads and crying or burying their heads in the parents' chest. The sermon was pretty interesting despite being on the same topic that i've heard for the past 21 years of my life- it was about the birth of Jesus christ and what it means.

Jesus christ came down to earth in a manger, lying as a baby in a barn filled with all the animal smells. The horses and the pigs and the ducks and the goats. Oh the lack of hygiene! I'm amazed that Mary didn't die of some horrible post-partum infection (well she could have given birth in the inn and then went to the barn with Jesus but still..).

With regards to the meaning of jesus' birth, I loved how the pastor phrased it, God came down for:
1. Salvation - from the sins of life
2. Strength - for us to endure the demands of life
3. Peace - to bring us peace admist the adversities of life
4. Hope - for the future of our lives

Yup. Rather amazing evangelical message that did more for me compared to other years(:

Had teochew porridge buffet at hotel winsor for lunch. Good and cheap. But porridge isn't really my thing, old people food hahaha.

Okay onwards to raving rabbids. I want to get mario galaxy! Do they have wii in the paeds wards? If they do I will confirm pwn the kids. Evil laugh.

-Cheryl~*

Heh. That's my mums omnomnom face(:

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

my ipod stuck on replay.

2009-12-19T02:41:00.000-08:00

its finally the end of the LONGEST year ever, school-wise at least.

3 major postings - med, surg, ortho. all MUST pass postings.. finally over.
24 weeks of clinics.. looking back it didnt seem very long, ortho seemed to pass by in a flash, thanks to a couple of end year birthday parties, and soon it was the end of posting test, and that finally all ended today.

there are a couple of movies i wanted to catch, and games i want to buy for my wii, and how i should start clearing my table, throwing out some clothes and buying more! :)
i just noticed that i do have many bags, some of which i havent used in a while. WHY! they are so pretty! shall find more occasions to use them.

had a magnificent lunch at soprano, this italian pizza/pasta restaurant at portsdown road, a sister joint to the one our CG had dinner at on my birthday :) this rather interesting coincidence was noticed by jiayan who found the menu identical to caipirinha at greenwood avenue.

food was great, i still find the servings small though. but the food was fantastic. had this absolutely mushroomy creamy mushroomy creamy mushroomy creamy pasta which was filled with mushroomy creamy stuffing. very sinful but very very amazing. i actually really liked the food. i got home and i was hungrygowhere-ing and the reviews were strangely awful for soprano. strange, i thought the food compared well with caipirinha. in fact, i think the ambience for soprano is much much nicer :):)

sometimes, great food, awaits discovery. i will definitely go back there. but a much nearer choice is probably galbiati at railway mall. awesome italian food, reasonable price. :)

well to each his own i guess.

we were all stuck at the restaurant cos it started to pour buckets, after footing the bill, i decided to join jiayan for some carolling at this home for the intellectually disabled in bishan. its really been a while since i last gave something back to the community, i really do enjoy doing these things, but sometimes life gets all overwhelming, and i cant commit.

it isnt my first time dealing with the intellectually disabled. i used to teach drama and social skills fortnightly to intellectually disabled children at cairnhill cc. some of them had down's, some were autistic, but yet, all were wonderful. sometimes i love how innocent these people are, how pure, and unpolluted.

when i was teaching them social skills, i recall one of the lessons was to get all of them to hold hands in a circle. something so easily achieved, was such a challenge for some of them. there was this little 4 year old boy who only wanted to hold my hand, and refused to hold anybody else. he was autistic, but he was such a beautiful boy. he wouldnt talk, but he communicated thru a tug on my jeans, squeezing my hand and with his eyes. this boy has a form of autism, and his parents only discovered his condition when he didnt start talking at all and was exceedingly introverted compared to other children his age. he looked completely normal, but yet so different from other boys. his mom would always style his hair, making a centre spike (like beckham - this was when i was in secondary school) and he would always wear the nicest clothes. (just like a child model - you know like gap kids!?)

i must say, im just so intrigued with how the minds of these children work. the touch of a stranger could bring them into a fit of crying and screaming. the way they quietly watch from afar and observe their peers instead of joining in. how i've never heard some of their voices. and how you can never understand how they perceive things.

i once did a drama piece on this book "the curious incident of the dog in the night time - by mark haddon". a tale of an autistic boy and how he finds his neighbour's dog stabbed with a pitchfork, and how he goes on an adventure to find his mother (his parents divorced) in london, after finding out his dad did the horrible act. for one such as him to explore unchartered territory, to find his mother just from an address and going about doing things his way, and how he double 2's for comfort. is just compelling and amazing. that book is highly recommended.

ah all this pointless rambling.

this lady at the christmas party at the home gave me a hug and thanked me for coming to the home. and that was my highlight of the day. i didnt really feel the event was well-planned and i also felt that the organizers over-estimated the intellect of the clients of the home, but it all didnt matter. what mattered most, i believe was just our presence. it was the company, the singing, the joy they got from shaking a visitor's hand, and asking your name, and us wishing them merry christmas.

i do however find them a bit more challenging to handle than children with intellectual disabilities. the clients at the home have the strength of a grown man but the mind of a child, and sometimes they dont understand their own strength. my hand was almost crushed by one of the clients. thankfully it was almost. and he did it because he wanted me to pick up a score sheet left on the stage by another caroler. so helpful, but so painful for my hand. but nonetheless, the visit was much more of a blessing than anything i could have planned in the afternoon.

what a great way to end the academic year.

-cheryl~*

fuck paeds.

2009-12-17T19:13:00.000-08:00

i cant believe 3/6 of the ortho OSCA was on paediatric conditions. i mean hello!? i know orthopaedics has a "paed" in it. but omg. this takes the dislike for kids to another level. i mean yes its my fault i didnt study much on paediatric ortho (i totally forgot) but freaking evil can. past years dont have so many freaking paediatric conditions.

kids are just so disgusting. (disclaimer - this really has nothing to do with the OSCA)

there was once during one of my GP classes, sharon phua posted us a question. when a mother saves her child from a burning building, can you call it as a true act of courage motivated by motherly love for her child? or is it more of an evolutionary instinct, cos the child contains her blood-line and must be saved to pass on her genes. of course, 99% of girls wish to become mothers, and they will tell stand on their chairs, tear their shirts and shout, "BLASPHEMY" and declare war on the person who made the second statement. On the other hand, i did consider both sides of the argument and i felt that an evolutionary instinct could be probable too. i mean motherly love is something so abstract and it could be actually an evolutionary instinct to save the gene pool and thats why a mother treats her child with such tender loving kindness. but then again, what say those single mothers who abuse their children? so maybe not really evolutionary instinct after all, since there are mothers who abuse their children - damaging the carriers of their genes.. okay i digress.

for now, i'll just address this question that most of my girlfriends post to me. MULTIPLE times. do you want children in the future? this is probably one of the most important things you must clarify with the other party before you get married. my answer? i find children and babies absolutely repulsive. rather strong term, but let me tell you, i dont have the patience to answer stupid questions like "why is the sky blue" and having to comfort a kid who cries for no apparent reason or does something stupid like play with knives. HOWEVER, that does not mean i will not have children if the need arises. Let's say its the end of the world, and im the only woman left to give birth and carry on the human race. i'll probably ask them to develop the freaking baby in a jar and leave me alone. hahaha. okay im joking.

thing is, if i ever get married.. and my husband/in-laws absolutely insist on carrying on the gene line, i probably will still get pregnant and give birth. epidural injections are a must. according to many experienced mothers, giving birth is the easy part. its the next 25 years of horror and heartbreak that is difficult. its really whether or not you think you'll be a good mother, and how you bring up the child that is important. i think ppl who ask me this question dont really think about raising the child, more of just having cute babies with chubby cheeks to pinch and watching them try to walk and totter around.

the main reason why i dont want to have kids, is cos i dont think i'll make a good mother, and i dont want to "cane" my children and make them do their assessment books and go for tuition classes, i dont want to force my children to excel and compete against their peers, and eventually through all this hard training, give my children a poor interpretation of a mother's love. its the difficulty in differentiating what you are doing for your ego as a parent, and what you are doing for the child, that puts me off. some ppl will definitely be good mothers, and those ppl should have kids. im not sure if i have the capabilities to teach a child, and be a good role model, and im just not prepared to have a mini-me following me around for the next 25 years. so there, thats my reason. so its not just cos i hate kids, i mean if i have my own children i'll probably love them much much. its just my side of the bargain.

anw enough of the serious talk, onwards to kid-dissing.
i do still find kids repulsive. i think im going to DIE in paeds posting.
the kids behind my house are really not helping my general impression of these mini-aliens who cry, run around and break things. im still hatching a plan to put a manufacturing defect in their trampoline, so one day they will jump jump jump and then "oof", cry damn loudly cos got humeral fracture. or wait, how about a epiphyseal plate fracture! argh. i kena tricked by that one. sneaky man. sneaky.

the ang mor kids staying in a RENTAL house behind mine are so retarded. (note the rental, cos even though they are tenants they think they own the neighbourhood and that everyone loves listening to their kids from 7-9 am every morning and 4-7 pm every evening.) regarding the kids, retarded. absolutely. (like 200x more retarded than normal chinese children.) can you imagine a divergent squint (eyes in 2 different directions) and drool coming out of the side of their mouths, and like a slight tilting of the head and the kids whacking themselves on their heads cos they are.. STUPID.

well, cant expect much from a boy who screams like a girl, and pretends to be a dog. wait.. dog and girl --> bitch. ahahaha. and the stupid thing is he ALWAYS cries and wails like a baby when he trips over his stupid legs and falls while trying to catch his sister. guess the age of this retard? 5 years. like hello grow some testicles boy. i have a suspicion he has agenesis of his man parts.

okay i must stop being mean to this boy. i mean what if he really has agenesis of his man parts. its like damn sad for him la! im feeling a bit more sympathetic to his moronic actions.

NOT.

those kids should be caged. and i am really going to do something about that trampoline.

-cheryl~*

pink, peach, violet.

2009-12-15T06:20:00.000-08:00

the colour purple seems to be growing on me.
so is fat.
the scariest thing in life, is change that occurs so insidiously that you dont notice. until its too late.

i recall a time when i had no problem with weight, when i was skinny no matter what i ate, when i didnt have spare tyres around my waist. the only spare tire i own should be the one in my car. a spare tyre, literally. i didnt have that much of a voracious appetite either. nowadays, i eat as if i dont care. as if nothing matters as long as the mechanoreceptors in my tummy are fulfilled - ie. stuffed-full. and i dont really think about how cake will go to my thighs, or how not chewing more than 10 times will cause me to grow fat, or how having a sweet tooth is the greatest sin any girl can commit.

its scary, i cant believe im approximately 10 kg heavier than what i was in sec 4. how much bulk can one add in 5 years? and the bulk is going to all the wrong places.

how to confess when you look like a burger?
no guy will bat an eyelid at a fatty. no wonder you treated me like i was invisible, even though i was 2 persons away from you in queue.

and its no use saying im not fat or flabby, when the numbers show it.

<-- stop deluding yourself. FAT IS NOT BEAUTY.

a diet is in order.
starting tomorrow.
im still contemplating exercise. will start with sit-ups and crunches today.

-cheryl~*

this is the strangest thing.

2009-11-30T02:17:00.000-08:00

i had a party, but i felt i was never there.

i was too estatic, happy, euphoric, to remember what happened in detail.

time went by so fast, and it was over in a blink of an eye.

thank goodness for photographs - making memories and casting them into film.

my wonderful OG - starscream.

emmanuel CG

europe + shiyun photobomb! :D

ortho.. doing the mcmurray test.

everyone! -few who left early.

"dirty dancing!"

and a tribute to my wonderful photographer who worked so hard thruout the night! JOSEPH :D

sometimes, its days like these that makes medicine worth it all. the friends, the laughter, the love. im so blessed but yet sometimes i fail to notice it all. thanks for the love guys! :)

-cheryl~*

TURBULENT. (is the word of the week)

2009-11-29T08:51:00.000-08:00

hahaha. my title is so "sesame street" and the word of the day iss.. "blah blah".

anyways. here goes a rough recollection of my weekend. i say rough cos im typing this 8 minutes before my actual birthday, and im kinda sad that im celebrating another one by myself.. okay joking. im happy to be single! i cant imagine someone liking me, a person who isnt satisfied with/like herself. (why dont i have double eyelids, whys my nose so flat. why my face so fat. why i sleep so much etc. etc.)

SATURDAY

went to get an express manicure done at this saloon near my place. $10. O.P.I. nail polish, took 45 min, cos i totally did what i always do, i nicked my thumbs tgt when it was drying, and she had to re-do the thumbs. hahaha. the layers were too thick, and i was in a rush, and the rain had started to POUR. like typhoon kind of rain!? then i was trying to protect my nails, while she sheltered me under an umbrella, and there was rain all over my nails.... and i had a feeling they still werent dry..

got into my car, and i had to drive with the pulp of my fingers (ortho ppl should know what this refers to) and the volar surface of my hands, and i think i nicked a nail on my wiper switch. damn. the rain was so heavy, visibility was 10 m, and i had to get to the saloon i was doing my hair at. there was flooding on the roads too! quite cool, cos everytime i drove into a puddle i would create waves! :D

finally got to pandan valley condo, and i had to parallel park in the horrible rain! and the lots are for mr bean cars!? or suzuki swifts. damn TINY. and i dont drive a very big car you know. so i had to circle, and i found a rather gigantic lot finally, so i was able to parallel park. ----------some background info, i actually bumped into a car while parallel parking in the exact same place! so of course, i was more careful, and i decided not to take the risk if the lots were too tiny. like not park in bt two MPVs.

was like 1/2 h late for my hair and make up appointment, and well in all the hair was okay. aunty amy (my stylist) waived the cost for the hair, cos it was my bday party :) the make up was really bad though. i am never going to go there again. like hello? when you put falsies (false eyelashes) you curl you own FIRST before sticking them on. if not you get the splitting effect.. ie you become a freak with 2 sets of eyelashes instead of one. which i became! thanks to her DAMN FAIL make up skills. damn SHINGZ la. and she took damn LONG LA. fails. fails FAILS!

im going to do my own make up NEXT TIME!

anw got home, salvaged my eyelashes, and then found out the balloons had not arrived at set at 6pm! party was starting at 630 pm, and i figured ppl will arrive on time, and so i was freaking out cos no decor at the party location.. zzz. doorgifts not packed, make up in tatters, not dressed, FREAKING OUT la.

what the freak!? ahhaha.

okays anyways.. eventually collected the cake and my parents dropped me off. and there was only half of the guests there when i arrived at 7pm. hahaa. guess i wasnt late, and my guests were! :O well i guess the location isnt really obvious, with brian having to circle around for 2 hours looking for parking lot. hahaha. quite fails. lol. he came looking quite flustered. lol.

anw, after they left, my mum came up with the idea that they should bring my sis to the hospital in the mean time, while they wait for the time to appear during cake cutting. and then what happens? my sister gets ADMITTED. yes. she was hospitalized for the first time in her life, and the first occurence in my family sans my mum giving birth to my sis hospital stay. i have no idea WHY they had to admit her, if it was just a superficial infx. i mean the red patch wasnt even in the dangerous zone of the face? and it had all the, if i may say, cardinal signs of inflammation - erythema, tenderness, heat, swelling, and lost of function (technically the supraorbital skin doesnt really have much func right. hahaha. so maybe this not present. debatable.) the docs said it might spread to the brain! and they were very worried! so we have to admit her just in case. (and NO, it is nothing to do with the fact that labs dont open over the weekend - so no tests can be done, and our A class wards cost $350 a night, neither does it have anything to do with the fact that the dermatologist is in KL and theres not really anyone who can dx her) and so my family was not around during my cake-cutting. really regrettable. everyone prayed for her and well, it turned out to be cellulitis.

party was great! enjoyable! hanlong's singing was awesome, the guest book was really sweet :D and the photo slideshow was SUPER INCREDIBLE! i had a lot of fun. im so happy that so many ppl came. even though my mind was kinda on my sis, and i was worrying about stupid things and running around talking to ppl until i didnt really have a proper dinner. hahaha. at least i got to taste the awesome bread pudding. (it ran out so fast!) and there was a lot of sabo-ing during the party. there was this strange idea, that me and lowell have something going on.. and obviously there isnt anything!! i guess it was a good joke and quite funny. dirty dancing was funny, and abhi had to sing sexyback or dance to it. hahaa. and the photos outside with the view of the nightsky was AMAZING! had some fun photos on the top of the tables and a couple of jumpshots! :D

the cake was beautiful! and i love the cupcakes jy baked! i recall i didnt finish one cos i was running about doing stuff.. but it was really yummy! all the sweetness of our friendship put into a cupcake! :D anyways, even though my cake was the most perfect cake ever, but the stupid SCC servers put it in the FREEZER instead of the fridge, and the cake became frosty. wah laos. way to go at spoiling my cake. fondant not supposed to have ICE ON IT. tsk. i saw the cake and i was quite pissed. but had to grin and bear it of course. (no outbursts on my bday) and then they cut such tiny pieces, without any common sense, yes they are all idiots, and now i have the lower tier of my cake stuffed in my fridge. way to go guys. my parents are going to give some feedback on the matter to the club. tsk.

other than that, everything was amazing! :) damn happy to turn 21. and happy that everyone was there to celebrate it. except for the nagging reminder that my sis was in hospital. sigh. thank goodness she's okay, and to be discharged tmr.

SUNDAY

well i got back from my party at around 1150 am, so its counted as sunday alrd la. went to pack all my sister's barang (for her admission) and then stripped and leaped into the bath, and had to shampoo my hair 4 times to get all the gunk off. oh the pins were terrible. i lost a lot of hair.. had to blast warm water on my face to melt the adhesive of the falsies and i pried them off. thank goodness they didnt stick to my eyelashes.. if not my eyes will be balder than they already are. tsk.

oh i also discovered i left my make up in glimour room. its in a pink bag and it contains my eye liner and my eye lash curler and my foundation! :(

anw changed and went with my mum to the hospital and camped there overnight, to keep my sis company. the sofa bed was uncomfortable and small, and i kept getting leg cramps cos i kept compressing some nerve or impeding blood flow in various sleeping positions. horrible didnt rest well at all. didnt go to church and stayed with my sis until 1pm, watching cartoons and playing games and reading newspaper, and having breakfast. my mum had to go back to church as she was teaching sunday school, and my dad went to church as well.

my parents reached at around 12 pm, and we hung around for a while, until my sis was eating her lunch and was pretty settled, then we went off for lunch. i tell you, zombie-ing with remnants of eyeliner is not good and damn unglam. i was really looking like a zombie. the dark purple nails helped little. went to adam road for lunch, and i felt too tired to eat. the prawn noodles weren't as appealing as i had hoped. got home took a shower and collapsed on my bed.

slept until 6pm. then i got up to clear up my party stuff, unwrap the gifts, msg my sister, watched some television, went thru the guestbook with my mum, she was shocked at some of the messages... hahaha. and i found out my sis was drawing something for me and uploading it onto deviantart! so proud of her :) shes a budding manga artist :) so talented :) looking forward to it :) she even asked us to bring all her manga stuff to the hospital so she could draw my present :) so sweet! omg. love you claire! :)

bathed and changed, and off to angie's party.
didnt wear pink, but had a pink handbag. :) her cake was really lovely too! and they at least cut bigger slices. and they had leftovers! i look at the giant thing in my fridge and SIGH. brainless gits. food was good! :) had chocolate fondue and played a game called "topple". a lot of random ppl around. but had fun anyways :)

after the party, followed perry's car (he offered to lead me to mt alvernia since i wasnt sure of the way) and he was a great leader. hahaha. he drove at a good pace, and didnt change lanes too often.. just in case i couldnt follow. hahaha. got to mt alvernia in one piece :) and went to see my sis. watched kungfu panda with her. and then gathered all her things and went home with my dad. he drove my car home :) and my mum stayed over.

yups. and im at home now, waiting for some photos to be uploaded onto facebook, and typing here. and its already been 1 hour since my birthday. what a way to start my birthday! :)

MONDAY

730 am. AH. ortho. sigh.

my birthday leh! *grumbles*
at least my sis discharging today :)

-cheryl~*

Strange happenings

2009-11-26T00:26:00.000-08:00

Finished with my door gifts today!! Thanks so much Jiayan, jon tang, Li heng n Wingyee.. N Hanlong for eating up so many sweets hahaha(: I thought there weren't enough sweets for everyone but amazingly there was enough for 47 packets!! I think 47 might still be insufficient though, as I think guest may outnumber the doorgifts..

Everyone started leaving one by one.. Cos they had stuff on and others just went for lunch, so me n Jiayan left to pack..(thinking we still had tutorial at AH at 3pm) lucky got cancelled..(: then can go home earlier.

Finished packing then went Kent ridge wing for lunch(:

Got the presents for the party and then went home lor(:

On the way home I was driving along and noticed tha the car in front of me was..

Car number plate was 666. And there was a signage in the right bottom corner of his rear window that said "black sabbath" super creepy.. Like an omen, kinda like those movies where they see Death and then they die a horrible death.. Like getting impinged in an escalator etc. I think crush injuries are a horride way to die.. so I sped home albiet safely.. Cos scared I might meet my doom just before my partyo.O

Home now off to take a nap(:

Everything seems to be going pretty well.

Shall trust in god to make all things work(:

-Cheryl~*

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

SLIGHT PARTY RANT IN ORDER.

2009-11-20T06:36:00.000-08:00

1. menu
i have finally got that settled thank goodness. the bill came up lesser than i imagined. strange thing is, alcohol is cheaper than soft drinks. well thats what you get if you go have a non-alcoholic party at an old-man's club. at least there will be wine :D

2. decor
i am currently settling the "blooons". (omg. i just recalled the time when i was in an act cute phase in my younger days and i said balloons as "blooons" *pukes*) this online balloon shop im dealing with is making me pull out my hair! she's so.............nua. ppl giving her business she gives me drips and drabs of information. and after 5 emails i still havent settled my order. she's cheap and environmentally friendly though. saving gaya. HOORAY. i hope i get this settled over the weekend at least.

went with jy to get some "bloons" and ribbons yesterday at this place next to bugis village. :) CHEAP. :D and the balloons they sell are the same as those my mom bought ages ago for my 12th birthday party. i recall there were so many leftover we started inflating them and hitting them around in the house.. maybe not hit, more like attempt to keep in air-borne. and one balloon hit a crystal ballroom-dressed lady figurine my mom got in paris. and it fell on the floor and broke into half (at the waist). so i removed the pieces and moved the remaining crystals further apart, so as to obscure the missing crystal lady's place.

it worked! my parents didnt notice for 2 weeks. until i couldnt take it anymore and told them the truth. hahaha.

3. cake
i really hope this turns out okay. i already paid the deposit and i hope she'll turn up with an amazing cake. if my money goes to waste i probably will cry buckets. and if my cake doesnt show i'll cry WATER TANKS!

4. dress/accessories
i just bought. $152 of accessories. from diva.
im surprised and horrified myself. the cashier literally had to pry my fingers away from my ATM card. enough said.

5. hair/make up
where to go where to go?!
anyone has any ideas?

6. door gifts
jy was saying it isnt necessary but after all the email correspondance with sticky, i think i should at least get the pretty sweets from them. even though their packaging was amazing expensive for something so hideous. at least at present they allow me to get just the sweets and to settle the packaging on my own. hahaha.
okay time to recruit help! :D

7. rsvp
i need to make sure everyone turns up, cos if not food and drinks will be catered for invisible men and women! o.O

party prep is making me tear out my hair. on a brighter note. had a really good lone shopping experience. i think shopping alone bears the most fruit. REALLY. even had lunch on my own. had the assorted sushi at itacho sushi, ion. very nice :D
there was this french business man who was eating on his own. looked like scharcozy. and then two burly italian men came in declaring they want taro sushi and ordered in really bad english and bad manners and LOUD too. the difference in characters between the french and italian men was amazing.

-cheryl~*

bad day?

2009-11-08T11:02:00.000-08:00

started off the day really tired, couldnt get up, so i slept in and headed for 2nd service instead.
my nose kept feeling weird, and i kept sneezing and dripping, continuously. just one of those days i thought. maybe i shouldnt have worn the spag dress, my upper chest was in full exposure of the cold aircon of the sanctuary. not being sensual but seriously, brr.

chain of events = sinusitis --> full blown sniffing/mucus-filled/congestion.

post service, went out for lunch at sushi tei with my cell group :) then headed on to MOF (ministry of food) for awesome jap desserts. it would've been great, if i could actually taste things. stupid nose, stupid sinus, stupid luck. talked a lot, caught up, was great. except for the nose part.

got home, continued to sniff like mad.
had dinner, got my cake design more or less settled, debating on whether i should depend on the online cake shop for my 21st cake. reviews are good, but then again, online cake shop. hmm.

air con started to leak, and i had to grab a pail and clean up the mess its making on the floor. my house is finally starting to fall apart after 7 years. wait scratch that, i recall the time i had to go without running water in my house for 2 days due to a exploded water pipe! most horrible days.

watched gossipgirl, and carelessly leapt into bed, smashing my head against the corner of a wooden bed frame. thank goodness for my thick-skull, i dont think theres any fracture or contusion, but there is a visible lump. i think i probably lost brain cells that i cant afford losing, AGAIN. if the pillow was just 2 inches higher, and covered the bed frame, my head wouldnt be in such dire straits now.

omg, such a localized lump.
damn. wooden bed frames with sharp edges, why couldnt i have gotten normal leaping into bed safe rounded bed frames, or wire frames for that matter. interior designers who have never leapt into bed before have NO IDEA.

still sniffing btw.
its late. its 3 am.
i should sleep.
hopefully the bakery replies me soon :S

-cheryl~*

party planning is a PAIN.

2009-11-04T06:40:00.000-08:00

20 yo/chinese/female

drug allergy: NSAIDS

no other co-morbidities

pc:

1. tension headache x 4/7

-sudden onset

-a/w bday party planning

2. insomnia x 2/7

-sudden onset

-a/w bday party planning

3. LOW, LOA

no smoking/alcohol history

no family history

currently ADL independent

dx: party planning syndrome

tx: stop planning party

there is a super long list of things to do.. and its just piling up like anything :(

ive got some help, but it seems like the help is a bit non-committal. even my mum finds it a pain.. why does everything in my life seem to face so many hiccups, and where on earth are all my friends?!

okay im just ranting, cos i know the want to help me, and there are ppl helping me but STILL. the work is never-ending. why im slogging over my own party.. i dont know?!

the irony of life.

for a great 21st? plan it yourself.

and then you fall sick on that day due to party planning syndrome.

omg i hope not!

-cheryl~*

does gayness stem from childhood?

2009-10-06T04:21:00.000-07:00

i seriously think the ang mor kid living in the house behind me is gay. he is 2-3 years old.
and he pretends he's a dog and prances around on all fours and yips.
yes yips. NOT barks.

yips = sharp, high-pitched squeaks/squeals/screams, kinda the sound eunuchs make perpetually after they lose their assets.

freaking irritating and GAY. even my sister never made such gay noises when she was a kid.
omg. he's more irritating than his cocker spaniel dammit. i foresee him growing up and fighting for gay rights and finding a gay partner and getting into a domestic partnership, then fighting for the rights to breed/adopt poor underprivileged korean/african/normal kids into psuedo-gay dogs that prance around backyards and eventually grow up to continue the cycle. oh yar, he'll probably be the "girl" in the relationship.

having murderous thoughts towards that gay boy is another example about how i will not make a good pediatrician. i mean, having a ward full of dead gay boys just aint good for business.

yipping at 150 dB every 2 seconds is mega-kill for my auditory apparatus and the etiology of my migraines. (note. 130 dB is the limit that causes pain in the ears)

-cheryl~*

of night escapades and punctured tyres.

2009-10-03T11:55:00.000-07:00

tuesday night was pretty fun. headed out to meet dy for inglorious bastards. the show was worth the 6 bucks, like totally worth! :) had a lot of trouble finding the elusive free parking lots, and me and jiayan were having a lot of trouble avoiding ERPs and locating the place. eventually we got a lot, FREE! :) met dy at cine. haven't been there in ages. had dinner at shokudo, then watched the really long movie.. shokudo kept filling up my water, so i had to go to the bathroom around half an hour into the movie. thank goodness for good sphincteric control and strong pelvic floor muscles. only went after the movie. didnt want to miss any scalping or gun action! :)

took a walk thru orchard in a bid to get to ion, orchard is really nice and cool at night.. with less crowd as well! but then we thought about it cos ion would probably be closed.. so we went to udders (the one near my area) and had ice cream! :) i couldnt take the alcoholic one cos i was driving.. had a lot of fun catching up and ranting about stupid things. its amazing how we've been movie buds for like 3+ years?! and us going out is one of those few occasions when i get to wear heels. tsk to all the vertically challenged guys i know.

wed night went with jiayan for the rendevous hotel buffet. we were late.. cos of prof soo's extremely long but useful tutorial on abdominal pain. i now know the causes of an acute abdomen, and how to differentiate melena from just black stools. we had a lot of trouble finding our way there.. cos i think we went out the wrong exit and had to backtrack a long way.. finally reached at 8.50 pm. the buffet closes at 10pm. hahaha. amazing how we still decided to go for it. was really worth it though. good food! and 1-for-1 some more.. and had a lot of fun catching up with jiayan.. haven't been able to talk to her for such a long time cos we're paired with different ppl :(

latest news regarding med eopt is that the results are tentatively out. i'm 99% sure im the one who failed. cos apparently there was only one person who didnt do well. sigh. knowing my luck its probably me. and since i screwed up my med eopt so badly, i think i deserve it. but why always me ah! grr.. med eopt really made me lose faith in God. its quite terrible, but i did blame Him for not blessing me/helping me. i've more or less gotten over it, and i know now that i cant live without God.

its like, when i argue with a loved one, or shout mean things with the intention to hurt, i almost immediately feel bad and start to tear. same thing happened when i was trying my best to not sing during worship on the sunday right after my eopt.

its so strange that im actually such a softie.

i really hope im not the one. shall pray about it.
and hope this weird churning feeling in my tummy goes away.

-cheryl~*

my perfect guy.

2009-09-28T07:20:00.000-07:00

today someone asked me what my perfect guy was.

and i told him, and he said my criteria was so stringent.

well, its for someone im going to spend the rest of my life with, after all.

-cheryl~*

some guys should just grow up.

2009-09-24T10:30:00.000-07:00

its common courtesy or imho being gentlemanly to walk a girl out to her car at 1240 am, especially if the way out is poorly lit and shrouded by trees and the walk takes approx 15 minutes.. and yeah, talking about how ghosts will chase me is TOTALLY mature, and an ideal conversation topic at 1240 am.

i even suggested sharing a cab to the main road, and i walk from there to my car. but NO, not on the way of your cab ride. i would like to remind you about the many times i have given you a lift. have i ever complained? you think petrol and ERP cost nothing?! im not one to beg or ask twice, especially if you're so unwilling.

so yours truly took a daring SOLO walk post-call from SGH A&E to zhangde carpark at 1240 am. thanks to a guy who has absolutely no clue. or perhaps just selfish, and ungentlemanly.

sometimes first impressions are lasting ones. and i thought you were not such a bad guy. but it seems like you've got some way to go.

-cheryl~*

phalangeal arcus = finger ring

2009-09-23T08:20:00.000-07:00

did like 6 DRE today.
exciting. circumferential rectal CA, BPH = exciting!
trigger happy! although i feel my right index finger is still dirty. despite multiple washings.. hmm.

after watching multiple colonoscopies, i find colonscopies are like video games, requiring very good hand-eye coordination. this means i have evidently a very good reason to get a wii :D

talked to this rectal CA aunty today with KK and she was incredibly long-winded and had a lot of saliva, i.e. she talked non-stop for half an hour without really telling us what was really going on with her.. even though she was so incredibly long-winded, her life story was really touching, how she worked in construction/hard labour (i suspect she's a samsui lady) to bring up her 4 kids.. made me think about my spending and how im not really studying hard enough despite my parents providing for me. she also talked about how parents just want their children to study hard, get a good job to support themselves in the future.. and how they will sacrifice anything for their children's education. which is really true!

although she wasn't really good for exam-prep,
sometimes its patients like these that make things really clear.

-cheryl~*

dead sea scrolls.. erm i mean fragments.

2009-09-20T09:34:00.000-07:00

today was kind of a make it up on the way kind of day..

went to church in the morning, had to wake up early cos my sis is playing cello for a sunday school performance so she had to go for the practice early.. i can never comprehend how she can lug that 10 kg case + cello around. its like a freaking weapon! or carrying another human being. she's strong.

during service, i suddenly remembered i had CG, but i didnt bring my study material, so had to go home to get it after lunch.

lunch was at beauty world plaza. tried this new store "Ling's" very cheap $2.50 prawn noodles! pretty average, but since it was $2.50 i wont complain much. went home, took a nap and then had to get my stuff and went to church for CG meeting :)

looking for parking was KILLER. omg, cos tmr is like hari raya adilfitri, so like all the malays are out visiting, so the HDB carpark was full, and i had to drive around the area and wait for lot. found one eventually..

CG: took time to share and catch up, and came up with our CG goals :) it was really fun!

we then kinda decided to go for the deep sea scroll exhibition. Today was the last day!! >.< talk about waiting until last min. drove there lor! no ERP on sundays :) parked at raffles place, cos the whole place was cordoned off due to F1!

there was this stretch where i got to drive on the track, SO FUN man. :) like racing! hahaha.

it was really interesting, kinda open my eyes to how much the bible has gone through to make it into a small cute leather bound version thats currently residing in my bag. i kept trying to look for errors are discrepancies in the really old versions compared to what we have now, and it was amazingly accurate! how great is the Lord, that his word continues to transcend time, and remain the same all thru the years.

btw some history, the dead sea scrolls were carbon dated to 200 BC, means its around 300-500 years before the last discovery of biblical text. so this proves that the bible existed even earlier than that, and how accurate the transcribing of later texts were, since the content is the same! :)

i like the way the dead sea scrolls were discovered. they were discovered by a shepherd who was looking for his missing sheep, which had wandered into a cave along the dead sea. the cave looked dark so he decided to throw a rock into the cave to scare the sheep out. and in he threw the rock.. "SMASH!", sounded like something broke so he decided to go investigate, and he found clay jars with the scrolls inside!

its so intriguing how God seems to always use shepherds and lost sheep.. like the scrolls weren't discovered by Indiana Jones or some major famous archaeologist, but someone so random, a responsible shepherd looking for his lost sheep :) kinda gave me something to think about. :)

<-- the tiniest bible! chained to a pulpit :) 1890

there's also this 15 kg KJV bible, that has really intricate designs as the headings, the cover pages, the first alphabet of each chapter.. :) oh the dead sea scrolls were actually just 4 minute fragments, cos the real scrolls are actually back in the Shrine of the Book.

anw at the activity room we all went to print a nice page from the KJV version, most of us printed chapter 3 from ecclesiastes. the one about time :) really nice! and i found out that my parent's wedding verse is ecclesiastes 3:11 "He has made all things beautiful in his time". SO SWEET LA!

anw the dead sea scroll discovery kinda reminded me about this japanese documentary i watched about this chinese farmer who made a major discovery in chinese history by finding the golden plate of empress wu zetian. (this plate is particularly valuable, cos it contained a major clue in wu zetian's personal life and her thoughts during her rule, cos her rule was a particularly mysterious one. ) anw apparently this farmer found it while throwing rocks down the mountain, competing with his friend who's rock goes faster or something like that. so funny! hahaha. anw, he was deeply troubled in his find because there were so many ppl coming to him to buy it from him, for LARGE unimaginable sums of money! he eventually donated the find to the national heritage board of china, who gave him a small token of their appreciation, which he gladly accepted, as he was very afraid of troubles that would follow should he accept so much money.

after the exhibition we went for dinner at raffles city, ate at streetscafe. :)

oh i want to try Osaka town! there's okonomiyaki there! :)

-cheryl~*

BRCA is not the only thing related to mammary glands..

2009-09-19T00:38:00.000-07:00

--> taken from the udders website

was supposed to head down to udders last night with my cousin, but she ps-ed me last min to see her friend off at the airport.. evil girl.. you better make it up to me next time!! >:)

so i had a change in company :)

went out for dinner with my family at this korean restaurant at lorong kilat. "Kim's family restaurant". Seems like there are a lot of koreans around my area, but what happened to the hot korean men like those in the dramas, who make hearts out of tealights and give you bouquets for no reason, other than cheering you up?!

after a very delicious and teary (too spicy) dinner, i had jaajyung mian, which is literally translated into "mixed sauce noodles", wasn't as slurpy or delicious as i had imagined, after watching coffee prince.. (there's this scene where she slurps up like 6 bowls of jaa jyung mian to like chase away the guy who's after her sis). mine had too many carrots and too little meat. but it was damn black. :) i had post-noodles "squid-ink teeth". actually i was eating dolsot bibimbap, but my sis had a taste and "took over", so i had to order noodles.

oh i just loved the 10 appetizers they served, complimentary! i like how much variety and preparation goes into a korean meal. the seasoned seaweed was awesome, so was the anchovies, the kimchi (of course!), the salad, the potato, the sweet potato etc. anw, the restaurant's very popular, and they have lunch menus (not that i have time to go and eat.) for like $8 for BBQ beef/chicken and rice and ALL THE SIDES! :)

anw had udders after dinner! :) theres one along lorong kilat too!

no i didnt suddenly grow 4 extra tits from over-eating (okay lame. hur hur) i went for ice cream.. the only reason why my sister tagged along for korean food (its spicy and she doesnt take spicy) was for the post-korean food-ice cream.

there was a whole crowd in udders - a class of HCI students were having a ice cream making course at udders. it was strangely amusing seeing how happy/high/ecstatic/drunk they were tasting the alcoholic ice creams. How old that made me feel. MAN IM OLD. Alcohol no longer gets me going, in fact it never really did, and i feel im past the binge-drinking age too. omg. old.

anw had lychee martini in a cone. yumms.

its going to become my frequent hang out, like on the way home ice cream place :)

yay.

-cheryl~*

how come its always you?

2009-09-17T02:17:00.000-07:00

someone told me today that i should not aspire to only be a surgeon, so as to avoid disappointment.

interpretation:

1. you're truly concerned that i will be disappointed when i dont get in because the residency system is really very tough.

2. you dont think im capable enough.

3. you dislike the fact that im so tiered to one field and so directed in my ambitions while you keep your options open (ie. you dont have a clue what you want).

considering the fact that im not really the brightest person around, nor am i the most hardworking, you maybe right that i may get disappointed because the competition is so great, but, you underestimate the power of direction, and me. Even if i am disappointed, i'll probably find some way eventually to become what i want, cos its what i want. I'm not going to settle for 2nd best, cos that would just be living a lie. Just because someone has some direction in her life, doesn't mean its the cue for you to be a wet blanket OR say that i dont know what its involved to become a surgeon. i do, thank you very much. and im very much aware about the fact that surgery is a very trying profession and it means that i might need to sacrifice parts of my life that other ppl might find impt. AGAIN, i know that.

and you know what?

im going to be stubborn about it and just follow my dreams. no matter how many setbacks or disappointment i might face. it might be okay for you to prepare plan Bs in life, or to keep your options open, but i for one, am going to do things my way, and nothing you say will put me down.

i wonder, how come everytime its just you.

-cheryl~*

Fashion File: Making Hermes Bags

2009-09-16T06:41:00.001-07:00

Hermes

not pronounced "her-mees"
pronounced "her-mez"

the parisian factory produces 5 bags a week, supplying over 250 hermes stores worldwide --> 5 year wait for a bag + starting cost of US$6000.

the price is dependent on the species of crocodile skin you choose, and the highest reaching $25000. and if you choose your buckle to be diamond studded.. $65000.

$65000 for a bag.

i dont know whether its remarkably stupid way to spend money, or a worthy amount spent on beautiful handiwork.

actually, doesnt matter either way. i want one. i want to at least own one by the time im 30.

oh i sense the beginning of a very dangerous and expensive addiction.

-cheryl~*

the urban myth of suzuki swift drivers - CONFIRMED!

2009-09-14T00:33:00.000-07:00

SUZUKI SWIFT SFA 4245A azure grey (freaking weird greengrey)
<-- this stupid car
tailgated me all the way from just outside my street to my house.
caused me to make a faster than normal turn, and e-brake cos of this idiot who parked his van when there was a continuous white line right after the corner.
best thing. my mum was driving down in the opposite direction and saw the whole spectacle. NICE.

its just one of those things, that totally just reinforces the fact that suzuki swift drivers.. are crapshits who passed their driving tests cos their examiners were blind or had no eyeballs. disclaimer: 99% of them are anyways. the last 1% are my friends and i cant insult them since ive not personally encountered anyone of them on the roads.

just so you know, i've almost gotten into accidents with 2 other suzuki swifts. one after a right turn, cut into my lane making me drive into the bus lane to avoid her. while turning, she went from lane 2 to lane 3. yes.. (yes it was a her, one her who was having fun talking to another girl in the passenger seat. totally oblivious) and the other was on the way home from SGH when i was cutting right and this suzuki swift was cutting left into the middle lane and I HAD TO AVOID HER? when i was in front? full of shit la these suzuki swift drivers.

defensive driving is always best.

anw this azure grey suzuki swift guy had massively BAD LOOKING Poser black specs. and he lives around my area. situation calls for some car key action while on a walk tmr. hopefully he parks outside. (if you get what i mean)

-cheryl~*

very soon the novelty will wear off..

2009-09-13T06:46:00.000-07:00

im referring to blogging on a new blog!

blogger really hates mac - my html/javascript editing page turns out all wonky on my comp! so i cant seem to add a tag board. i'll have to run upstairs to use my dad's windows computer to deal with that problem. its kinda creepy when ppl read your blog and dont tag, and then tell you about your posts o.O

im currently going through a love-hate relationship with apple (the company not the fruit). apple products dont seem to be able to last more than 2 years! as evident by my ibook and my present macbook. its not the durability issue, its the software issue? i mean since i got my macbook 2 new software versions have been out! im TWO SOFTWARE VERSIONS behind!! *horror*

had dinner at sicc last night, and we ended up ordering a whole lot (i overate again) cos we had to hit $50 to claim the birthday voucher (some background - SICC in a bid to increase its f&b patronizers, and to reward its members with its average food - gives out $20 food vouchers to each member during their birthday month). the meal was strangely asian, and we ordered typical hawker fair 300% their normal price, just to eat it at a country club.

i saw a guy with parkinson's at SICC! typical shuffling gait, stooped posture, festinency, small steps :) he was such a cute old man. and then my dad said "if only you got such a straightforward case for you med eopt" YAR I AGREE. dammit. reposting liao la.

went to church, didnt really pay much attention during sermon, paying more attention to how my jeans looked, or whether my thighs were too fat.. i did catch a bit of the sermon, and at least i got the conclusion. church ended late, and my sister disappeared somewhere, and a search party covering the entire church premises was dispatched, comprising of.. me and my mom. hahaha. eventually we found her, she was having some trouble with a photocopying machine. my goodness, how unexposed and sheltered children are nowadays, so as to not know how to work a photocopying machine. its one of those must-know to survive if not no worksheets or notes kind of info.

went to zion road for lunch.
i love the steamed pork dumplings there :) ok, occasionally i like the fried ones too!

thats the shop!
strangely under-publicized on the net when it's been at zion road even before i was born! i used to eat there at the old zion road food centre when i was like 3 and my legs couldnt touch to oily floor of the hawker centre and my chin was just above the table! :)
awesome stuff la!
other that the dumplings, theres a famous no. 18 char kway teow. good stuff! but my sis finished most of it, so there wasn't much left for me. got cheated into eating a piece of pork lard. omg. damn gross.

oh yar my sis broke my dad's iphone today. it kinda has a line across the screen and keeps flashing every 2 minutes, kinda like a dying patient gasping for breath. hur.

onward towards a long week.
doing call on monday!

-cheryl~*

120909

2009-09-12T01:30:00.000-07:00

Saturday!

got up all sandy-eyed (awesome sleep) at around 8, and was trying to figure out how to reinstall my microsoft office 2008 for mac. rewind 12 hours, and the following was the clerking history.

11.09.09

pc: macbook presented with the inability to start up microsoft word 2008

hx of pc: user (ie. me) stupidly allowed microsoft autoupdate to update my microsoft office 2008, leading to the discovery of a invalid product key. after much cursing and swearing, the user proceeded to slide in the installation disc (see i have the installer on a disc) and waited for repeated failures of the microsoft office to install.
mood = UNHAPPY.
there was associated computer violence, headache and temporary psychosis wrt microsoft.
there was no associated nausea or vomitting, change in bowel habit or freq, ~~chest pain or shrotness of breath.~~ was a bit hyperventilating.

fastforward 12 hours, after ejecting and reinserting the installation disc multiple times, swearing, thinking about comex 2009 alternatives (ie get a legit one) and worrying about my case write up (since i cant technically do anything if my microsoft office doesnt work), by some miracle, my cranky macbook cd reader finally eats up the info and reinstalls microsoft office. im not sure if all is fixed but hopefully it is!

left home at 10 am and went to SGH to find my post-op patient :)
he had an open cholecystectomy done cos he had been febrile for the past few days. and as i was flipping through the case notes, i noticed DUKE-NUS medical student clerking notes in there. sigh, how nice it is to be treated as a fellow in a big hospital and being allowed to clerk inside the notes. i have to say there were mistakes, for eg. the pain being on the right and NOT the left (as was clerked by a student). but that doesnt mean its not cool. its totally ULTRA AWESOME LA! i want to write in clerking notes tooooooo! :(

i managed to get into the electronic clerking system and look at the patient's CT! very awesome! couldnt print out the reports though, i suspect SGH blocked us from printing out reports, so had to hand-copy everything :(

a rather flustered GS HO was writing blue letters while i was copying the case notes, probably thinking "who's this insane medical student coming to hospital on saturday!?" or not. i think he was more bothered by the raised cardiac enzymes on a post op patient. hahaha.

on a happy note! i really like SGH :)
and i think kylie is such a good tutor. he's really amusing and he looks like my cousin.
oh and i got my stitches out (wisdom tooth stitching) and everything is going sweet :)

shall go do my case write up now, even though i have no idea how to complete it :S

-cheryl~*

9 Official Movie Trailer (HQ)

2009-09-12T01:09:00.001-07:00

duration: 1 h 19 min (shortest freaking movie i've watched in a long time)

i caught this movie with my mom and sis last night. the animation was really fantastically realistic, but i felt 9 would probably appeal more to the geeks who like building models or machines? the story-line is really over-hyped. imho, it was a 15 min storyline stretched to an hour. i cant imagine why tim burton directed such a movie!! :O

literally 9 palm-sized sack cloth creatures fighting this machine that creates evil robots. they wield surgical scapels against soul-sucking machines! kinda ridiculous how the scapel is sharp enough to cut thru steel.. i would like one like that next time when im a surgeon :)

9 was set post-apocalypse! so no human beings/life around. the setting was really well designed but i think too much effort went into the minute little details w/o thinking of the storyline..

and the ending was damn CRAPPY. everyone in the cinema agreed.. there were "what?!" "thats it?" "stupid show" chorusing the cinema. tsk. elijah wood im surprised how much you have fallen since eternal sunshine and LOTR! :O

2/5 - 1 for design and 1 for story. (and im being kind)
lucky for the moviemakers, my mom paid for the movie, so i wasnt "cheated" of my money. if not, it'll have to be a 1/5.

-cheryl~*

the start of a new blog!

2009-09-12T00:21:00.000-07:00

i've been blogging for 8 years now :) at a variety of sites.. i remember my first being at diaryland, then i switched to blogspot, and then to livejournal, xanga (shortest duration) and then blogspot again!

its been a while since ive last blogged, i kinda lost interest cos the blog was only used for ranting, and re-reading angry thoughts isnt the best thing to do when you're not in a good mood..

on top of that, nobody really reads my blog very often, which is expected, cos nobody wants to follow an angry, ranting blog of a not-very-interesting person. >.<

thinking back, blogging has been a lot of fun. i remember the inter-blog fights, the laughs and rants, the weird ppl who would walk up to me and say, "hey i read your blog! -proceed to talk about blog contents". Complaining about love and guys, school, teachers, crushes and mishaps etc.

so.. long story short, i've decided to start up a blog again. and this time round NOT with my typical eminemce id, cos everyone kinda takes that for granted esp in locating my blog. its not hard to spell but i cant be bothered to take comments from friends who say they cant spell it and repeatedly ask me for its spelling. good grief, if you think that "eminemce" is hard to spell, what about Escherichia coli. okay, stupid name to quote. its not very hard to spell hahaha.

so new blog! new entries :)

-cheryl~*